depressing
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Neglect
Abuse
Abandonment
The beginning of our undoing.
Separation
Deprivation
Time
Roses are red.
Grasses are green.
Doves are white.
Sunflowers are yellow.
Oranges are orange.
Eggplants are violet.
Jeans are indigo.
The world is blue.
there is another thing that I cant unseemy brother smilewhen he used to see me
he used to smilebut now its clouds
I hurt him so muchI cant even begin to describe what he could feel
I hurt so bad, it's getting hard to breathe
How I feel inside, well you wouldn't believe
Thanks for making me cry, what I total waste of makeup
This nightmare feels so real, come on Maddie, wake up
Aren't best friends supposed to be with you till the end?
I thought that to myself as I watched them turn their back.
Deceiving is what it's called. Maturity is what they lack.
I gave so many, so many chances
Yet,
With the internet at our fingertips
(at our disposal never leting us breathebreathebreathe)
it is easy to see everything
(wrong with the world)
like
I'm confused
Isn't a mother supposed to make her daughter raise her siblings?
I'm confused
Don't fathers always abandon there children?
I'm confused
The saddest feeling
Is the one not felt
The one that stays, and is never let out
The one that haunts
and torments
The one that fills you with nothing
the one that soaks you dry
A year ago,I would have done anything to make you stay.A year ago,I had it all in the palm of my handto have it all fall apart six months later.
How many times do I have to slit my wrists
to get rid of the poisoned blood in my veins.
It was once believed most issues could be cured
by draining the infected blood.
So how many scars must my body endure
Hands placed on a unclean slate. Clans faced off and deaths happening at a unreal rate.Bodies lay quietly upon the ground, shoddy warn down knives all around.
Once upon a time
a girl stood in the cold streets
selling her matches.
She was all alone
in the cold winter sidewalk
as adults passed by
Killing time.
trying to get people to understand me.
but they can not.
Just like i can not understand them.
Every man is an island.
seperated from all by the oceans of our skulls.
trapped in our heads.
Light swallowed by shadows
Hearing voices nobody owns
Disembodied, and paralyzed
Good god, I’m PETRIFIED
Falling and falling
Life is like a ladder.
Sadly you only climb it to disaster.
You lose everything that ever mattered.
But then again what really matters?
That's the answer I'm truly after.
After all, we're all here to die.
Over the horizon rests the deceased and the black skies and
Smokey clouds lift the useless souls above ground
There’s ritual drumming in the background
Monstrous figures dance around a fire
I'm sitting here.
Again I'm alone.
I'm trying to escape
Escape from the hurtful words and the voices in my head.
My headphones are on and my music is up.
Here I sit.
I'm by myself.
I should've noticed that you never actually cared.
Shame on me.
I should have seen that you hated everyone around you, including myself.
Shame on me.
I have been put down
In the harshest of ways
And I cannot frown
Because it is not you who deserves the blame.
This feeling sining into my chest
It feels as though someone has cut me open and poured in hardening cement
I don't even know what is running through my brain
I suppose now, I have really gone insane
I hated him so terribly, so much so, I was confusedI wanted to bury my fists deep into his chestand slide them out comfortably "The thing is," he said, "I tried"We're both asteroids on a forgotten constellationAnd I held his gaze, held in my anger
All alone on an island
no one here to see
yet there is approval
I still need
my ultimate weakness that cripples me
is my never-ending anxiety
to be approved
in this corrupt society
You ask me if I'm sad;I tell you I'm ok.You ask me if I'm mad;I tell you I'm ok.You ask me if I'm happy;I tell you I'm ok.I fake a smile everyday;To show you I'm ok.But deep down inside,
poring over texts at 3am
wondering about what wasn't said
but more importantly the things you said with hidden, truer meanings
now you're asleep and it's too late to ask
Being mature doesnt relate to age
A young man can only handle so much
Cutting yourself to let out all that rage
That depressing feeling when the blade touch
If my beloved father never started a career
that required so little family commitment,
I doubt I'd comprehend the meaning
of matieralism.
Two-hundred-fifty thousand a year
without a worry,
His eyes grew black with skin so dark
He ran in the rain, screaming at his dog
But little did he notice an old woman standing by
He looked at her for a second, she began to cry
Who am I and who will I become,
to fall far from the family tree or be the last one?
Who will accept my failures and love my flaws?
Everyone loves a girl who is always less flawed.
I am left hopeless; doomed to fail before I try.
Always make a mess and then left to wonder why.
I cannot impress the weight of each small sigh.
That I try to dress well is my feeble, sad cry.
There was once a time I came out of my shell-
Fully disposed to the endless joy and optimism
The world had to offer.
But like a falling star, I fell-
I fell to the ground of the Earth, then to the
I am happy to be angry so I smile Yea I was angry, cause my dad left my mom.
I am a bastored child.
One Who's spirit is broken, while
His imagination runs wild.
I do not know my father, he is a stranger
who never seemed to bother.
I have no knowledge of the character of the man
At 6, she wanted to be a ballerina.At 9, she wanted to be a doctor.At 14, she wanted to be skinny.At 16, she wanted to be dead.
You told me I was your mistake
The kid you wish you didnt make
I am not the love child
What If I was enough
For you to want to see my smile once more
What If I was enough
For you to come back through the door
It's not your dinner dates I miss
It's the way we smiled in between our kiss
So many competitors, not enough prizes
I hope to seek a win in some of my suprises
My ambition to win is higher than most
Although I've been passed by as if I'm a ghost
Life is dark; depressing
But with in the dark there is always light.
In art you discover just how black is made,
The truth of the matter is, that you must take every color of the rainbow at once;
Lonely face while he walks the streetWater from my eyes like sea salt-laden galesThe last they heard from him was a tweetAll she wanted was to hear a taleThe Moon was bright as a lamp-post
Whenever I watch a movie
That moves me
I make a promise to myself
To be better for them
As if
A person who doesn’t even know
I exist
Would appreciate me
Bettering myself
But
Everywhere I turn silence greets me
If there is one thing I yearn for it is a face
Something other than the embrace
Of solace, because her mockery is deafening
I wake up and fall asleep to the same thing on my mind
Unfortunately, this something does not go away with time.
These thoughts are the farthest things from being kind
We're here again
Two sides of the playing field
No longer able to feel your warmth
Just left to wallow in my memories
I can't say I’m surprised
Always knew it would happen
But it hurts
There is a little girlcrying out for her fatherlittle does she knowdaddy doesn't want to be botheredShe cries her tearsnot at all silent
My body aches with pain.
Fear flowing through my xylem as I'm rooted to the floor a Charlie Brown tree in the midst of a forest of strong pine.
My heart is very sensitive.
It deserves to take a rest,
Once in a while.
You break, you buy it.
But then remember to also fix it.
As if their concentration camps weren't enough,
Now they have to shove big guns in our faces.
They do not care if we cry,
They do not care if we die.
All they care about is extinguishing our religion and race.
I'm trapped
Inside my body.
I don't belong
Here.
Nobody wants me.
Here
Nobody understands me.
Here
I need an escape from.
Here
I'm trapped inside my body.
Tears fall down my face,
And I try harder to push them all out.
Tears fall down my face,
And my eyes won’t stop squinting.
You don’t understand.
You don’t try to.
You don’t want to.
You can’t.
You won’t.
Why should you?
What am I?
An experiment?
Or shall I say a daughter?
Do you know that feeling where you feel replaced?
When the person you laughed with every day
When the person you cried with every day
When the person you talked with every day
Just disappears out of your life.
Cry.
Cry until your head hurts.
Cry until no more tears come out.
Cry until your heart can’t take it anymore.
Cry for release.
Cry for your soul.
Cry it all out.
Cry for pleasure.
I try so hard,
even when I feel I have made some progress
It is for naught.
My line is corrupt.
Feeling is so overrated.
So I've decided not to do "that" anymore.
"That" is like licking the pages of a cookbook,
Stupid and silly.
I suddenly realized
(at five years old)
Death applies to me too
That children become grown-ups
who become grandmas
who were the ones who died
And I was a children.
Supplementary:
Something extra, excess, not needed
Et c’est le même en Français aussi
Like desert
Or when you’re doing something worthwhile
But no one is there to see it
No one will ever know
Ambition
Trapped in a dark room filled with doom
But I’m waiting on that spark so I can start.
On a new road but I’m getting too old
To be wait’n and contemplate’n on choices but I can’t hear
Dying White Rose
A beautiful white rose
with petals so bright.
She clings to the ground
hoping for life.
She's short of air;
She can not breathe;
will does not force my mask,
a loney mood and empty flask,
does make my mind go numb,
behind this smile that you see,
is not a face so carefree,
abandon hope of helpful hands,
I could be a Star...for You
But you didn't want just one.
You wanted a Sky Full.
Now I have nothing left
to shine about,
be bright for.
Star light,
A fool, a joke.
I didn't know what else to expect.
I thought he was cool
And now everything's been wrecked.
Twisted wrong
Stepped over upon
I glare up to see
While on the ground
I see myself
To be the one
Who tortured me all along
And I now see
What wrong
I've done to myself
I take a knife
And slit my skin,
Exposing my heart
Reach in
And tear it out still beating
Its erratic rhythm.
I show my exposed story,
My deepest truth
Only to One
Who gives me a reaction
Flashback to the year 1995, the year I was brought into this world.
I grew up believing in love.
Crying into the night, begging for redemption, only for salvation of her one true god. They told her no, they told her why. She told them yes, and made them regret every lie. The clock strikes twelve, and the knife struck her.
There have been wounds in my life.
I'm used to the pain.
I have been chasing love.
I'm invisible on this earth,
I'm always transparent.
Even by my own parents.
I have learned since I was older...
i am blinded by my tears
as voices screech uncontrollably in my ears.
i reach out to find relief,
but all that returns are thoughts of defeat.
I am young.
Blonde hair moves past my eyes,
As I play in the dirt.
My irises are big and innocent.
