poring over texts at 3am

wondering about what wasn't said

but more importantly the things you said with hidden, truer meanings

now you're asleep and it's too late to ask

 

i'm wondering so loudly to myself

would you try and stop me if i kissed a blade tonight

i'll entertain the thought, maybe i'll shove it away again

but i can't seem to cry and something's got to flow

 

i think i should just keep to myself

i'll live somewhere so far away from here

all the words that need to be said can just flow into the wind

so no one else has to hear them

 

i know that i can't feel a thing

but words creep under my skin and make homes

skirting the edge of my consciousness, enough to pollute it with dark thoughts

not enough to validate these things that i feel

 

and when you forget to say goodnight

i shouldn't take it personally but i do

and those are always the worst nights

it's not your fault but i need the closure

 

and now i'm poring over these texts again

it's been so long since i've seen you for real

and i don't know if that's good or bad, or if it would matter if i'm gone or dead

but i hope that you're sleeping well

and having sweet dreams tonight