giving up
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I think I finally realized what the true defintion of love is,
That it is something that can also be scary and terrifying, and is not just romantic and full of bliss.
That was what finally made me realize that I loved you,
I pick up the red and black pants that I saw you wearing in those pictures that I look at all the time,
And I really thought that by know, I would be able to call you mine.
I'm tired if feeling all alone...
Waiting....
Anticipating....
Heart racing...
Pacing....
Giving up on Love....
Retracing....
Reminding me of what was...
What could be...
I'm tired if feeling all alone...
Waiting....
Anticipating....
Heart racing...
Pacing....
Giving up on Love....
Retracing....
Reminding me of what was...
What could be...
Fading away from this oppressive light
drifting into an endless night
Happiness renewed under different circumstance
Embracing the energy of this maniacal dance
On ethereal wings I flee from my spark
TRIGGER WARNING :: mentions of suicide ::
I think to myself ‘This feels like drowning,’
As my tears fill my bathtub.
This feels like dying,
as my tears tie themselves around my neck.
I thought I came very far
Until I met you
I thought I rose very high
Until I met you
At first I had no fear
But I turned into a horrible person
Anyone can fall once
I can't give up now
A paucity of air clings to my lungs as I sink further into what life could be.
Wishing away, living a dream, all the while toying with time’s dominating hand.
How easy it is,
To stand and look pretty
While taking a photo.
As I see the image that others see—
Joyful but Smart.
I’m in pain,
all the time.
Everyday is agony,
im tired of this fight.
let me show you what I mean.
So, I’ll make my cake
out of shotgun shells.
Light it up
like a candle.
I will always be here for you.
I will be there for the late nights, the early mornings,
the breakdowns and the breakups.
I know you don't love me.
But, could you please just love my name on a screen?
Dear to your lonely soul, I do hope you read my note. I am truly sorry for my apologies and my guilt. May you forgive my broken thorns and shattered roses.
I don't want to see you again
and I don't miss you
I don't want to feel your skin
as it graces my own skin
I don't want to kiss your lips
during a foreign sunset in some foreign place
My soul's in a coma;
and no body knows.
i act like i'm fine.
but i'm broke to the bone.
this meat sac is hollow.
can you see past my eyes?
my body'll follow.
from this life, i resign.
Death has come home;
to sleep in my soul.
she whispers, she calls.
why shouldn't i go?
Death has come home,
to see me again.
she knocks on the front door.
and i let her in.
God please write me quickly
i'm running out of time,
my family has no time for me
and i can't say goodbye.
it's not the words that stop me,
nor their meaning make me cry,
Now i'm laying in a casket
well, do you want to know why?
these stripes across my forearm
i swear they were a cry
i really wanted to tell you
i really wasn't "fine"
but well, you believed me
Say what you want about me,
I don't give a fuck.
I've tried to be rational,
Now I've given up.
Words can only go so far,
Then you need action!
I've been a good girl for too long
The children walk alone with nowhere to go on the very dangerous road that the darkness controls some walk others run but there still alone forever on the dark and scary road.
It starts with an inkling
A whisper of a secret that turns into a shout in your brain
As the voice learns how vocal chords work better together
Even when they are all raw from restraining
The struggling
To just open the bottle
Then swallow
The pills
Choke me
Let them
I want to breathe no more
Let the air stop its descent
Into my lungs
I'll choke on hot coals
His shoes’ soles are gone from the incessant walking.
Under the scorching sun he is bathed in sweat.
Armed with numerous certificates,
He embarks on a futile job hunting journey.
Blood pulsing in your veins
Feral growls passing through
Eyebrows knit together
All aimed at you
Limbs quaking with anger
Hands curl into fists
Shaking to slam one
Into a wall
A floor
Hurdle down from the highest bluff my child.
One day you loomed forth from the obscure.
Venture into dirt and sand blank the division who coward.
Do not dare to bawl out to the floor.
Why do I bother writing my problems down. Only a select few I choose get to read them. I mean I'm depressed a lot more lately and no one knows. I know only 3 people who know why I hurt, because they're involved.
Underwater, with no clue how far away the surface is
My lungs are burning, arms are struggling
I made my choice.
Winter had come over me,
I fought it for a while,
But eventually I caved and let it take me.
Sometimes...no I always feel lonely....
when I'm on the edge I just have no one to lean on,ive lived on depending from myself
,I'm not proud and I don't need pride heck I don't want it...
What is the world just stopped turning?
I may just give up.
What if the world gave up?
I could let everything go.
What if the world let everything go?
I would feel very scared.
What do I want?
What do I need?
What could possibly motivate me?
I've seen the horror,
the desolution
the absolute aberration
that humanity can create
the sex, the drugs
Peeling skin
Coats the walls
Of travesty
And love.
Chisel me away,
I beg you.
And don’t bother
Priming me again.
Pick away
My drywall ribs.
And leave me
Unfinished.
The tunnel is dark and long
and the light at the end
is most likely a train.
the movement around me
is nothing but the scattering
of my demons.
The sounds I hear in this tunnel
