pretend
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On some nights, I pretend to be me. The real me, who doesn't hide or has no one with whom to confide. I think of the words set in my heart. These words can shift mountains and vallies, and have the power to take friends out of our lives.
Everyday I wake up reluctant to get out of bed
Discouraged by the thought that today will hold nothing but more pain and heartache
I close my eyes against the familiar pangs of anxiety
it started so sweet,
i actually thought you cared about me.
but now i see these were things you wanted me to believe
we were living in a fantasy, a world of make believe
full of smiles and laughter,
It is too easy to make affliction handsomeWhen it's lined with rhyme Traced by thin fingersThe numb glow of a dawn window.White drapes on skin and glassDark eyes torn with pain madeBeautiful
“I’m alone and I don’t even care anymore.”
Is what I have convinced myself.
When can I stop pretending?
A mask is what we wear.
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes.
On the mask is a smile.
Forced. Real. Unsure. Scared. Alone. Broken.
I fight a mental battle each and every day.
No, it's not what you think. It is more imposterous as such.
I believe I am the weakest link in the knight's chain mail armor.
I have discovered the perfect plan. One that will keep thoughts and others at bay. I will learn their ways, their ideas, and emotions. I will be the perfect victim. I will learn to talk and say what is expected.
Sometimes, the best actors
are the ones who pretend everyday.
They pretend that everything is ok,
pretend like their heart is whole.
Only around those they love
can they break character.
We had a voice, a dream, something to say
But the white people took that all away
Chains broken only to be put back together again
We had a love like no other
And found strength in one another
Let’s play a game
Let’s pretend that we’re lying on the grass
Staring up at the bright blue sky
And making wishes on dandelion clocks
Your true self criesYou are deemed as a nobodyYou seem fearless but bravery liesYou seek approval to be a somebody.
I love you
At night I dream of you
I will not hide it from you
My future is blank without you
I am hurting
So scared to tell the truth
In front of everyone I pretend
I am scared
One noon, my friends pranked you,
Pretending like they always do.
They texted that I want us to meet,
Even if I don't want to greet.
Lets play pretend
and everything that happens
we will pretend it never
ever...
happened
Then we will wake up
perferably next to each other
we will wake up
I didn’t think
That I cared
I didn’t know
That there was a miniscule tidbit of gloom
Hidden in some crevice of my being
Buried beneath heaps of feigned indifference
It's 3AM and I'm waiting
For my phone to die
And I'm pretending that
It's a lie that all I want right
Now is a cup of tea and
My head on your chest
Breathing in your exhales
Do I look hot?
Doesn’t matter, I’m Late
Shit, I forgot
To watch my weight
I tried my best
I got a 58
I failed that test
So I guess I just ate
Don’t think about it
I want to be someone
Worthwhile to follow
Who’s strong and un-scareable
But soft and not hollow.
I’ll rule how I want
With my people behind,
But keep ‘em all happy
By treating ‘em kind.
Mask after mask, changing my face. Which me will I be today? Mask after mask, I can't let them see all the feelings underneath.
Let me ask a question without talking out of turn
what makes you special that you can beat on me till my bruises burn
I mean you must have some type of seniority right?
I want to be beautiful, she said.
Then they'll love me.
The ones who pulled my hair,
Tugged at my hand-me-downs,
Tore open the wounds made fresh,
day after day.
It’s all an act.
They say they want to help,
But they don’t
They act like they care,
But they don’t.
They are just like
Everybody else in today’s society:
Heartless.
