I didn’t think

That I cared

I didn’t know

That there was a miniscule tidbit of gloom

Hidden in some crevice of my being

Buried beneath heaps of feigned indifference

My composure seemed so nonchalant

And utterly convincing

That I deceived even myself

Unaware of the secret letdowns

Growing around my ribcage

Sprouting with unfinished infatuations

I told myself to bottle it in

Until you can drown it out

In some alcoholic beverage

That burns your throat

When you swallow

The only sweet pain you’ll look forward to

I told myself to pretend

Pretend it doesn’t bother you

That your heart didn’t

Sink to your stomach

After you saw him

That when his eyes

Met and locked on yours

For a split second

My heart didn’t unexpectedly shatter