'I am... Scholarship Slam' Depression
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remember me as being happy. don't look to deep into my depression nowpretend that i was all smiles an joypretend that i am off on a journey, soaring through the clouds
There's many things a therapist will sayWhen you tell them you want to die They'll tell you how to make the bad thoughts obey But most of what they say are lies For me , my life revolved in my depression My life had become a constant transgression
How could I be so stupid?
I thought you were more
But when I showed you the baggage I come with,
you left
Just like that.
Just friends.
Because just friends don't unpack baggage;
She’s vulnerable,
she’s caught off guard.
You can see it in her eyes.
Look into her eyes,
stare into her daydreams.
She’s a child again.
How can something be so refreshing,
Yet so draining?
An escape,
Yet a prison?
Monsters under the bed.
Monsters in my head.
I feel like crying but I have nothing to cry about.
My life is good.
I have a Mom, a Dad and two siblings.
I have a house, clothes and shoes to wear.
I have a Kindle, a smartphone and a Wii.
Another 24 hours poured into the cement
Living through another's person's regrets..
Just one piece of a puzzle, too big to comprehend
Can't see the end, left the lights on again
The darkness parts of me beg me put them in words.
They love the attention I give them.
They love my criea for help.
What they love the most is hope.
Mama went to the doctors to make sure the baby was alright
It had a hole in its heart,
They said she can eliminate her pregnancy
Told her the baby would grow up with problems
Despite what many people may think, depression is a mental illness. It makes us completely numb until we no longer have any feelings.
I said I would quite and, I know I promised but darlin' this world is tearing the cries from my soul and making them scream from a voice that is dead.
I confuse the tears with rain and the cries with laughter.
The trance gesture to the forestI only look into my night sky mirror.
Once had you mystified in the white snow.And there's no more than a witchwho envies people for their love.
do you ever wonder what it's like?i have, a million times over,but in the end, it's always the same.
To those who are reading this
and to those who have read it
know this is true
and whole-heartedly believe it
I'm going down
in a slump of depression
falling into darkness
In the shower tears are allowed
The fresh water covers the taste of the salty drops
Blurry images, white clouds
The colorful curtains block the crowd
She used to think
The world was her oyster
She could soar through the sky
But her wings have been clipped
She can no longer fly
She no longer has hope
She wishes to die
She did love her friends
They ignore the signs
They ignore her cries for help
They stare away at the skyline
No one calls her "mine"
No one asks "what's wrong?"
They just sit down and drink wine
I’ve never liked pictures of myself. It creeps me out, hundreds of years from now someone looking at a picture of me. Now a rotting body beneath them. I said i didn’t want people to remember me.
In the recent years I have come to realize that I identified the scent of my father purely through the distinctive stench of his cigarettes.
she lies motionless in bed
i should get up, go to church
she remains motionless
for two hours more
left leg dangling
over the edge
i wish i had gone to church
hours go by
she sits up
Roses are red, violets are blue
the sunshine is warm, at once so were you
but now the sunshine is gone, the flowers are dead
you hide behind your eyes, inside your head
I smile, I laugh, and live joyful days
But underneath my smile,
There's nothing but a haze.
I smile, and laugh, living joyful days
But in the echo of my laughter,
You can hear my cries of pain.
Sitting in a deep dark room,A void of blackness surrounds me.The end will come soon,The clouds outside seem eerie. Sitting there thinking,I'm trapped in my mind.My thoughts are sinking,I'm running out of time. My mind is a prison,I see no escape.M
Alone upon the wreckage,
Broken hearts on either side,
The dark distorted crater,
Where my last hope came and died.
The darkness all around me,
Not cut through by the light,
My solo isolation,
I let myself fall
Not so I can stand up again,
But so I can stay down
Down and depressed
I am my worst enemy
I make myself believe terrible things
I am a broken girl, sorry, I was a broken girl.
I was beaten down and pushed away,
Forced into a corner and left to break.
The walls, oh how they caved in around me
They listened to me as I hit notes that I couldn’t reach the last time I performed
I shut my eyes so tight my mascara formed a black rainbow under my eyes
Time has passed still pain remains
Its ghostly shadow
Just as sharp as the knife before
My heart once whole
Now lays shattered
A love destroyed
Here I lay
Awake
14 years of being sad
Crying every day and every night
Not knowing who I am
Fighting with myself
As well as everyone else
14 years of panic attacks
Skipping class and passing out
Losing friends
I am a second year college student
I am a biomedical engineer
I am a biochemist
I am a waitress
I am tired
I am still awake
I am succeeding.
I am low
I am high
I am someone who cares a little too much
Someone who sometimes doesn't care enough
I am that person who stares at a blank screen
Waiting for my thoughts to materialize onto a page
I am an artist, I think?
as i walk outside in the dark.
The words keep coming,
"Jump now"
But i wanna be sure,
The first sign said 55mp, now 65mph.
I just have to wait & pick the right car,
Don't wait for me I'm just passing through
Don't take the blame it's not for you and all in all I've nothing to do
I'm just a Rambler passing thru
A lonely man is what I am
I am not the only one
who is afraid to feel this way
I am not the only one
who can't make people stay
I am not the only one
who fears life after dusk
I am not the only one
She gets upset when people askWhat the eye-catching marks,Are?She gets upset when people stare,Because she doesn't want attention.She doesn't think it's a bad thing,
I am a girl who calls herself caring and insightful but feels stupid and
over emotional.
Everyone says your disorder doesn’t affect your personality but
what about when you have a personality disorder?
I am a mess. Struggling with waging battles in my head and right in front of my own two eyes. I am everything ayone would hate to be. With all of these qualities, I can still admit that I am loved.
Now before I slit my wrist, knowing to God that I wont be missed.
So now as I split open my veins, signing this deal never to hurt again.
Feeling the pain I wrote this letter, to let you know that things got better.
