Void

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I wrote you a letter two years ago that I never gave you.  In the letter I said that I loved you.  I wish I could tell you that!   I wrote and I wrote and I wrote, until my arm felt like elsatic. 
They expect me to stand here in silence to find worth in how they deprived me of who I truly was .
I hark back prior to my birth. My words couldn't possibly illustrate this event because man's intelligence communication, moreover words didn't exist.
As my head lays motionless on top of a soaked pillow While my empty music fills the void of the room at midnight Blank eyes illumanted by wrung out lyrics I know you'll never be there  right in my hour of need
I'm afraid to feel nothing I am happy to feel tired If that is the one thing I am Then I am tired Say it as my first name As my title I embrace the fatigue I do not want to be empty
Is there a point to all this? Some sense of release hidden behind years of Doubtful ventures into nothing.   Can I outstretch these fastened wings, And search for some greater feeling,
Have you ever looked up at the sky during a cold winter night, wondering if there’s somewhere nothing exists? Where time doesn’t have meaning? Where even rogue planets don’t dare go?
Why is my mind so blank? The colors that flash before my eyes, they mean almost nothing to me anymore I used to dance in the soft orange of a sunset wade in the blue waters of the distant ocean
What comes after death? What lies beyond the final breath? Is the body just a mere shell? Do we really go to heaven or hell? Or the murky fields of Asphodel? Or are we all under a spell?
The river runs deep Deepened with crimsion Each death premautre and unjustified Lives claimed           stolen           devalued Left behind are family                           loved ones
    There is a dark hole, thats been growing for a while. Where there was once light, is now dark, with no desire. Day by day my body aches, causing the hole to deepen.
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We burnt out. Our flourishing romance withered away  leaving us both as ashes of the people we once were.  Without our vessels, we touch. Our ashes attempt to replicate our bodies,
My dark soul takes apart the dread that is life Leaving behind a empty void waiting to be free and filled Waiting to be loved and held While I stare into the void that is myself I think
Here's to all the kids who make it through the end of the day and wake up for the next one  even though all they really want to do  is stay  and hide away.  
So here I am Thinking About the thoughts That won't come About the fututre. And as I think My mind swirls And the nothingness That comes in waves Stops.
It is futile to cling to something so fictitious. The world fades away. White.
As the steps outside are taken from the once pitch black demon eyes garage yellow gazers... The desert UPS package rain clouds like adobe hang above me hazel a tree in a snowy desert
I sat in the pale green light nearly disappearing into myself.
Death is inevitable. Alone in the universe with nothing. The end is vague. Not defined, or labeled, individual. Beliefs, religion, gods, Designed to soothe. From the Earth, and back.
The real me is like the real you. Sitting behind the scratched, glass pane         separating us, In our once a week, twenty-minute-monitored conversation. As we speak through the coils of a half-
I wish i could write about nothing at all. wouldnt it be interesting to describe nothing? we couldnt say a color, How would we know what color it would be? We couldnt say a shape,
Your writhen thoughts had unexplainable august about them, I wonder from what this could stem? They have remarkable semblance to knotted fingers, The way each twines into my mind and lingers, Drawing me in,
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I stood up once and had knownFalling endlessly of
So beautifully flowing, so sporadically chaotic, so miraculously conjoined, the fact of existance, so matter-of-fact, as we live to simply not be. Nothing may begin if there be no end,
“We become aware of the void as we fill it.”                                                                                                                                            -Antonio Porchia                
If I could I would Fill the empty place in hearts To move on in life
 Steady trying to feel in this void. I find myself clenching the sheets, feeling it's texture. Smooth you would've thought... but, it's been layed in so long there's a change. Not one too noticable, but one only the owner knows of.
It is you I dream of night and day,  In my mind is the place you dwell,  It is you that causes my heart to sway, I hide my love so you can't tell,   A mysterious person you are,
Of all comes none, yet feels as still some semblance of a substance seen unreal, echo endless hollow beauty immeasurable.
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