Disorders
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Why won’t you just leave me alone?
I don’t want you around - I never have.
But apparently, I can’t get a restraining order
against my own mind.
I've been patiently waiting for you to notice me like a girl standing in the corner at a party just waiting to be danced with. But you never notice me.And every time I try to give you a compliment you always seem to get mad at me.I'm sorry if I al
My mind is a computer,
It plays games,
Process information,
Turns to power-saving mode.
But if this is true,
Then what are my disorders?
They are flash drives,
What is autism
Is it simply choosing not to talk
Is it just a spoiled child
No
It's not a disease
No
it's a spectrum disorder
Everything has to be a set way
What if Cinderella was actually a slave whose prince led her through the Underground Railroad?
What if Aurora had social anxiety?
What if Snow White had Dissociative Identity Disorder?
The hair of my arms turned,
I know this collision of arms is inevitable,
Yet my mind spins like a ferris wheel gone rogue,
A correction must be made to my limbs,
Wrong, this is wrong; tears pry their way out
Blaring static from 59 T.V. sets.
Lost in a sensory sea, never to return.
Memory, cognition, sight, sound, taste.
A knock on the door, words seeping through wood.
I cannot hear them, what are the saying?
At thirteen I lost my reason to live,
my sister, Virginia, became a stillborn
My heart was torn in not two, but a hundred pieces
A demon was created inside of my head
I was told from others she deserved to die
There are days in which my forearm remembers stories that I made up,
That haunt me and forebode potential illusions.
I remember days in which there were many of these days within a day.
She was always a mess
Scabs on her face
Dried blood under her fingernails
Her heart throbbed until
It crumbled
And pieces of it cluttered the floor
Like words in my mind that I wanted to say to her
It's visible now
and that scares me.
"Just stay strong," they tell me,
but lately, I'm not sure I know how.
This armor I have built
is beginning to crack-
crumble off my back.
Imagine living with a family of disorders,
darkness riding upon corners.
Imagine living with an anorexic sister, autistic brother,
Often I find myself in thought
Silent on the outside, screaming on the inside
Internally I fought
Close your eyes
dream
Open your eyes
live.
A dream,
it can be the start
of a life long adventure.
Some people dream
and just let it be.
Some people dream
and set their dreams free.
Disorder
I have ADHD
And ADD
And OCD
And a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,I,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,o,p,o,p,
Oh my God I'm doing it again,
That was so fun!
You're running into the infinite darkness
Because there is nowhere else to go.
She is chasing you, a game of cat and mouse.
You, you see the darkness as your hole.
Your means of salvation from this wretched chase.
Why are you staring?
Does my body hair offend you?
Are you scared by my lack of makeup?
Tell me, am I not good enough?
Why are you staring?
Is it because a fat girl is wearing cutoffs?
I wish you could see
how i long for thee.
More than just predictably or physically,
but rather relentlessly
Sometimes you think your life is difficult.
School is exhausting, your crush doesn't like you...
I don't disagree;
High school is not as glamorous as it seems.
But you don't know true strife,
