apologies
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You said I'm sorry, but for what?
Holding me the way I've always wanted to be held.
Touching me the way I've always wanted to be touched.
Making me feel good.
Let me begin this with an apology.An apology for the way I have been acting lately.I do not know what I was hoping to achieve,But I know it created nothing of what I wanted
A game, it started with,
To meet your lover in it was a myth.
The meeting was probably a coincidence,
Now it actually makes sense.
I met half of my identity,
One I've been searching for since infinity.
Dear you,
It has been awhile I know.
My heart has been hurting and my bones are becoming dry.
Dear you,
I’ve ignored your cries, I’m sorry.
Im sorry I'm not her.
I'm sorry my eyes don't sparkle a wonderful shade of green that makes your heart stop.
And that my body isnt small and mysterious.
look around US, my love,
look at the way they treat each other,
sidechicks, drunken nights, the love of my life,
are You real?
no remorse, no regret, no feeling at all.
look around US, my love,
look at the way they treat each other,
sidechicks, drunken nights, the love of my life,
are You real?
no remorse, no regret, no feeling at all.
For Satori: The Strangeness You Gave Me
When I went in search of the root
my blind fingernails scraping through the rot
I found the strangeness you gave me
It was wrapped in newsprint
I started the year being heartbroken,
But determined for my future.
I longed for apologies.
I knew Harry was a total player.
He was a bad boy.
Yet I fell for all his words.
He broke my heart.
Expectations are now at thier highest peak.Senior year and I'm still a freak.I'm sorry.I apologize. Please turn away, don't watch me cry. I will never be what you want of me. I'm so sorry.
It was what nobody suspect,
And denial begins,
Because how could a girl like me
Who has everything
Fall into this pit of darkness?
Is it really my fault
That I may be depressed?
last night
you came to me
your mouth spewing
endless lies and unforgivable apologies
last night
you came to me
with those daring three words
oh
how you tried so hard
It's never is your intention
But it happened nevertheless.
Now your joyous arrival
Leaves me in distress.
I am angry with reason
I am sad with distress
I am disappointed with hope
written 08/09/16
So much disappointment,
So much hate,
So much lies,
So many things that I'm afraid.
I seek to punish,
I seek to find pain,
I seek to feel alive,
It's only 5 letters but feels more like a mouthful.
You've bit off more than you can chew now you're choking on it.
You can't swallow your pride so you spit it out.
My mother came to visit me todayAn hour and a half she would stayShe told me I was beautifulReminded me I was specialAnd so I wrote her a letterFor the things I should of said better
all i ever am
is sorry.
the words float around my skull day and night,
"I'm sorry."
sorry when the back seats are squished
because I'm taking up room
sorry when I'm talking too loud,
too much
I apologize, sincerely, for all that I am
I am sorry for being so rude, and never taking a stand
Friends, there for you through good times and bad
Sometimes they are the family you ever had.
Friends come and go like the wind,
Some help you in the midst of your sin.
You keep the past in your back pocket
Just close enough, where you might catch it
You scrape your knee on the pavement
You look down and you hate it
But I think that the blood might just sober you up
Behavior is a result of environment and time.
I was not born apologizing every time I spoke up.
I was a little girl who ran into life like there was no time to worry,
My hand moves to strike out
My voice moves to crush
The violent whirling twister in my head destroys all in its path
The desolate emptiness is not mine
It belongs to those whom my tounge lashes
I'm in distress
You are not
I came to you for comfort
I laid all my problems on the table
Frustration
Anger and fatigue
You looked at me
With pity
For half a moment
Let mebury my face in your chest.Imprint my lips on this sculptured perfection.Let memelt your coreMake you human once more.
Looking around this place, it is quite apparent to see
Nothing here is free for you and me
Whether it be by colonizers and systematically by each other
If I went back to the start, that would be the end of me
See me I take her heart, but let her keep her dignity
Physical symmetry was what initially appealed to me
Who I am
It’s hard to describe
But something lies in between both eyes
A vision to be greater
More than me
Bigger than the bigger picture
More than free
Who I am
I may never decide
