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Panic is a bathroom sink, Grime-covered and overflowing, Tearing the skin off my hands With its vicious heat splashing, Burning cold through spilled ink.
Another day, another broken promise my beloved worst enemy comes to visit again ridding my body of nutrients whispering evil to my brain People get sick, people die but my disease is secret
choosing clothes looking in the mirror starring into a stranger. we know tonight we'll skip dinner to wake up a little bit thinner. walking with your dog will never be the same
Each breath I feel the army wanting to push the barricade I swallow so much saliva it washes back the front line back into the sea from which they arose They are fighters, no matter how hard I
I am having a difficulty speaking I am having a diffuculty of acting Normal-- So I keep singing Normal Girl so maybe I can be as such My mind, a racetrack
having an eating disorder means wanting everyone to know and no one to ask it means accidentally leaving your lunch at home and proudly telling friends no thanks when they offer to share
I am a host for a parasite, A parasite whose disease has sucked on my mind, Leaching my hope, Leaching my sanity, Raping me of all personality.
Of course you are not perfect, but why do you fret? There are many more important reasons to find yourself upset. You could be greedy, coniving, full of deceit, turning a blind eye
She came and went. as if it were easy for all of us to stand back and watch. Faster, slower, stop. the water continued dripping collecting cascading towards
Anxiety, depression, An undiagnosed disease. Hiding under smiles and laughs So nobody saw me. Twelve years-old and so confused By the media displays. I tried to be just like them
You never noticed That you never saw him eat In all the months you've known him. You had no idea Whether she shaved her legs Because you never saw her in anything but sweats -
My arms have gotten fat and weak My thighs are soft and plush The weight I gained is in my cheek My stomach feels like mush My former self ws thin and weak Although I thought her strong
Who am I without a filter? For the past four yeasrs, I haven't had an answer to that question I've spent so long trying to become littler I've tried to disappear which is something I probably should mention
Dear Anorexia I hate you ana You runied my life for so many years
There I was another day spent counting miles subtracting calories calculating deficits. Run, run to look good, run to look pretty, run so boys will like you.
I can’t chew on the thought that’s begot Rotting inside like they thought I forgot When they couldn’t see me gnashing my fangs against my iron-wrought cage, the fangs, their bangs-
It feels like stones no matter what I put in The hardness makes my stomach groan in pain The echoing of the fall audible from the outside I can eat old favourites or new worsts but it ends the same
God help me. Give me a hand. help me out. im drowning in your presence, but it is evil that reaches his hand out to help. to pull me out of these rising waters.
there are some who will say
I may sound insane, but the voices I hear are not of a lunatic . They are of someone suffering of OCD ( Obsession Compulsive Disorder). "IT NOT CLEAN!"
When I was younger, my mother’s name for me was Doll. Her hair was golden thread, her eyes were glass. She would dress me and undress me, and hold my pink hands and sing, “How perfect you are,
Try living every
Ask the girl in the glass how she survives on just air. Ask her, how does she last when she devours nothing but despair? And remorse coats her every attempt to ignore what she sees,
How many cuts and bruises authority figures can ignore For the sake of pretending so it's not on their shoulders; Denying a problem that's clearly there with phrases to cover, such as: Toughen up, don't tattle.
This isn't something you ask for, This wasn't something I chose For the monster that tricked me, Was as alluring as a rose. I didn't realize my portions, Began to drastically shrink,
It is not that I love death more, but that I love myself less. This eating disorder is becoming a chore. It is something lodged in my chest. It's not that I love food less,
Shes controled by a skinny waist, a empty stomach and an acid taste. Sit back and watch closly, as that beautiful soul goes to waste. Keep up with the fast pase, another skipped lunch and a hunch to move paranoia in it's place.
All this suffering - it makes no sense How one could live through such nonsense. Minute by minute, the pain increases As it rips through her veins like shards and pieces.
I turn like an unbalanced ballerina in the face of the mirror, Examining each curve and pudge of the body I have been drilled to hate, And squint critically as I suck in my stomach. Am I pretty yet?
Her mirror belongs in a carnival, a wrong distorted image of what she looks like. She'll try to bend herself to make that reflection look perfect. Cut down what is eaten until it resembles the remnants of a forest.
Internalize what you love, despise desire lose yourself, entire yet don't dismiss that inner tormented artist when did we proclaim that our dreams were unattainable?
Her eyes told a different story Than her worn hands. Pupils dilated Loving all who understand. And the sore indentation on the middle finger of her right hand Supporting that she knew words were essential.
I’m sitting in my room curled up on my bed in so much pain Why I did everything right I did what my doctors told me would I ate my vegetables, my fruits, my carbs, my protein I ate my fat
I may sleep for the Weak I feel so deep in my Guts and those damn bones Not cured but bad I’m not in sickness but I Do think about it
I needed a friend... Someone Who would always be there for me Comfort To keep me safe and secure Courage To do what I wanted to with my life Happiness That my body could not contain ...
You hold my tired hand Your bright eyes crinkle into that widespread smile Your thumb traces the tired lines of my palm I do not know what our future holds After all, we're seventeen
Mirror, mirror, on the wall Who's the fairest of them all? She who's tall and she who's thin, She who gets a workout in She whose thighs are far apart, She who has an ice cold heart.
You know that thing? The thing that nobody talks about? Making yourself puke? Yeah I do that It hurts It burns It destroys your teeth But what they forget to tell you In health class
Recovery Is Possible That's what they keep telling me I don't know how to believe it When I've had this eating disorder For almost a decade But I know I'm sick of it I'm sick of the being sick
That's what someone called me yesterday I was just walking Alone In the hallway at school And the girl The blonde one With the long, slender legs And the flat stomach
Ana Anorexia Anorexia nervosa Ana My friend My best, closest friend You're there for me When I need you You whip me into shape You love me I can tell you do
The thing about ED is He never leaves you Through the good The bad The ugly He's there A little wasp Following you around Stinging you Every time you reach out