A Beautiful Monster


This isn't something you ask for,
This wasn't something I chose
For the monster that tricked me,
Was as alluring as a rose.
I didn't realize my portions,
Began to drastically shrink,
Or how my weight plummeted,
And my belt needed one less link.
I didn't see in the mirror,
A devil in disguise,
All I saw was beauty,
A beauty comprised of lies.
Nor did I notice my seclusion,
Or the dizziness in my head,
I forgot what living was,
For I was dormant like the dead.
My stomach complained of emptiness,
My heart murmured attack,
My body screamed of death,
While under my eyes and nails became black.
One day I was walking,
Down a hallway at school,
My chest felt like it was caving,
And I couldn’t keep my lungs full.
When I got home that Monday,
Endlessly I tried to keep warm,
Yet I couldn’t breathe,
I felt like I was emaciating in a snow storm.
With desperation I looked at momma,
I wanted to say, “This is the end”,
I felt my heartbeat fading,
My strength could no further descend.
My momma looked at her baby,
A lady whose young years she missed,
And saw that in a short while,
Death I would soon kiss.
At last she told me bleakly,
With eyes so sad and blue,
“Baby please understand,
I am going to let them keep you.”
The nurse took my vitals,
My pulse was a slow twenty-eight,
My ICU room was 3225,
My life lay in the hands of fate.
Eleven days I spent in that bed,
For two measly days I was out,
Then I lived in Legacy,
Where I learned what recovery was about.
In the slowest forever,
Over with was my residential stay,
Admittedly I faced relapse,
But I stand tall today.
My recovery was not easy,
Because that is not how war goes,
But I finally feel alive again,
With a future brighter than anyone knows.
Sometimes I may struggle,
But I know I can get through,
For I am strong and beautiful,
And that’s why the monster growled, “I choose you.”


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