anxiety depression and mental inertia

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I am stronger than I think I amI am my biggest criticI am the worst artistI am the worst singerI am the worst studentI am a horrible friendI am a horrible poetI am my own destruction
I promise I thought the darkness would never get to me Tears in your eyes  Seems like it will never stop Never end You wish for hope but it never seems to come Hopeless. Wishing things would end
As I laid there with you, My mind began to travel to the place where I once again felt safe. I began to think of my life before you And what life was going to be like with you.
I remember getting up one dayIt started like any otherI sat down me and my brotherInsults were Normal till later I was pulled away from my mother  Drugs ran through her veinsTrying to cover up past pains I remember her using make up to cover tear
I'm All AloneLost and alone, in a battle i can not win.Fighting the darkness inside.Trying to keep it under control.Sanity slipping fast, reaching out for a hand to grab.
These feelings & emotions 
  Heart hangs heavy like raindrops on the window Tears fall like rose petals in the first chill of autumn wind Hope shone bright like the moon at midnight Eclipsed by the shadow of self
Can you see them? Are they out in the open? Can you tell that they are even there? Are they hidden that well?  
Kept me locked up like a wild animal where my only friends were the scars on my hips  and the voices in my head. Telling me all my wrongs  as if I couldn't already see all the sins that lie within me.
  Clouds begin to creep I can’t stop the seep. The sludge and muck Seizes me, I’m stuck. My arms go first Seized by shadow’s thirst. Insatiable, unstoppable Misery’s quite probable.
sometimes… sometimes i am not asleep i just can’t get out of bed i lay there motionlessly and pretend that i cant hear you come in feign deadness to the sound of everyone in and out and in and out
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