' 'Abuse' 'toxic relationships
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From the moment
you no longer pick
the underwear with the characters
because one day -someone- might see them now.
To the day
you are sobbing
broken-hearted, being told-
On a summer day i met himWith his sparkling eyes, smooth talk and confident smilei could’nt do anything but fall for him
I thought you were too greatThought you'd never see meBut when we met My friends considered you a threat
I woke today and started thinking about all the other girls you use to entertain you. And how you still talk to them because you "went through something together" immediately my heart starts pounding and I can't catch my breath.
Taste this. He opened his mouth
She poured into him all that he had poured into her.
An acquired taste that his taste buds could never grow used to.
He spat out what he could but it was too late.
I always tell myself it is worth it
I always tell myself you will change
I always cry alone
I always beat myself up for not being "perfect"
Around you I am not allowed to get frustrated or have a short fuse
I saw the signs but I ignored them. Maybe I didn’t, didn’t notice, didn’t see. I can’t tell anymore. But it doesn’t matter, it’s too late now. There’s nothing I can do. There’s no way out. Trapped in a never-ending loop.
Manipulative, that’s what you are. You said jump and I was already jumping, jumping on the thought that you are toxic to me. You came home drunk and high while I sat there high on an imitation of love. You were artful with your words and I banged
I am tired of being abused
By ones I thought had my back
Always ending up being treated like I’m the trash
I do want you wanted isn’t that great
Now just toss me aside, I know you’ll do it anyways
Jab me
Turn the cheek
Beat me
Lie there and bleed
Touch someone close to me
You won't breathe
I keep checking my phone waiting for something, for you to tell me what’s on your mind.
But you’ve told me you don’t think much.
I heard the wolf howl
we never stood a chance
limited time only edition
watch as the torches go out
and greens and blues turn to black
felt your hand pressing me down
I never said stop, but I never said go.Now people at school call me a hoe.What was I supposed to do?
There is one thing I want in this life.
One thing I yearn for,
One thing I long for,
I want the will to speak.
This one thing is an ache
The world fell down beneath her feet.
A falsehood told
No man to meet
She stood on sorrow’s barren land,
And clasped the letter in her hand
Chills run down my spine.
Love isn't supposed to hurt this much. Why is this happening to me?
Death being shoved into my face as a threat so I'm forced to stay. How does this person say they love me?
A picture perfected over time.
I look at it now and my brain doesn’t recognize
What it’s supposed to mean to me.
The definition of trust,
Something you no longer represent.
I turned a blind eye, thinking
The hands that have grazed my body were always cruel—demanding. Whether it be a stranger or a lover I had known for what seemed to be a lifetime, the touch was always cold.
Did you love me?
I'm not sure you did.
You claimed I was your one and only.
But, I don't wear lily prefume.
You said you would never hurt me.
But, I always had bruises.
Housekeeping
I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with closets.
On one hand it’s been a safe spot wasn’t it?
A haven to escape to when I was afraid,
I was eight when I realized the truth and the harm;
I saw it on my teacher’s face; the pity and alarm.
They examined my body, outraged by the marks.
Calling social services, warning them of my matriarch.
I am survivor
But I don’t believe that
She took all that was good out of me
They all tell me
Lies
you told me you hated them
While in the same sentence telling me you love me.
Saying sweet little words
All to get my clothes off
I was unaware of your tricks and schemes from the beginning,
but now I am more talented than Orpheus himself.
You see,
I watched you lure many girls towards you,
Turning eighteen and running away is how I "glowed up" and that's sad to say.
Trying to act grown, I moved four hours away. To be hurt by a man and that was not okay.
golden skies
teary eyes.
pink face
blood in her lace.
mascara drips down to her lips
when he grabs her hips.
Change has always been hard for me
Never has it been easier then sleeping at a stranger's house, after sneaking in , because my home life wasnt the best
I have never seen a guy look at me the way you do
“You just aren’t a fun person.”
The words slice clean through me,
Like a sharpened pocket knife,
Carving ugly words on the walls.
“Well it’s your fault, you have self-esteem issues.”
“Let's see how long it takes till you come back.”
Those were your last word to me as I moved out,
as I went back and forth one box at a time.
Alone
you think i dont love you. i dont dont dont because im mean. you dont know that i do. i really do but i cant tell you. i already tried to love you but that didnt work. you told me i was only upset because of my stupid teenager brain.
you think i dont love you. i dont dont dont because im mean. you dont know that i do. i really do but i cant tell you. i already tried to love you but that didnt work. you told me i was only upset because of my stupid teenager brain.
Have you always wanted to be a puppeteer?
Did you tell mommy,
Mommy I want to control women when I’m a big boy!
I hear the sound of your cheeks stretching to smile.
I am not worth your time,
Not worth your love
Your affection
Your effort
Your praise
Your care
The salt running down your face shouldn’t be there.
The warm then cold wetness shining your cheeks.
The trail of liquid behind as you feel your heart break a little inside.
If fire were romance and romance were red
If love were a bullet and the bullet were lead
Would fire be freeing
Would love leave me bleeding
When you’re young, we’re told to respect and listen to other
The “treat others how you want to be treated”
Left alone in my room I sat staring at the wall
Thirteen is the first year of your teenager life
Thirteen I came out to my parents as bisexual
They said they would not believe me until I was eighteen
Being bisexual is a phase they said.
Dear Fear,
I know this won't reach you but
I'm writing this letter as a means to an end
Once upon a time I loved you dearly
The definition of fear is subjective but usually can be followed along simmilar lines
Like a huge graph where everyone's lines cross with eachother through to infinity
But not all fear is the same
I can't stop thinking about you
Now don't go and flatter yourself
I don't miss you
I don't miss what we "had"
I don't miss it at all
I fear that you won't see me nor feel me
I'm too unsure if you even need me
I know that part of me is undeserving, but how can I be with you if you're not trying
I lose sight of what love is and how it should feel
3- the years of my life I spent wishing I could forget him
2- the years I’ve been in a relationship recovering
1- the number of men it took to ruin my life.
