Betrayal

I woke today and started thinking about all the other girls you use to entertain you. And how you still talk to them because you "went through something together" immediately my heart starts pounding and I can't catch my breath. I start shaking and feel like I'm gonna throw up. And I think how can someone that claims to love me make me feel so uncomfortable furious and worthless. It's fucking embarrassing because those girls know what you did behind my back and it makes me look stupid. How can someone do that to the mother of their child even while in a relationship with them. A girl who is devoted to him and stays home constantly to raise their beautiful daughter and just wants a better life away from all of the abuse. I replay you in all those situations with a different girl each time, reliving those moments and I start getting panic attacks. The fact that it's with multiple times already and still ongoing is unbearable. I think about how your probably still carrying on conversations like it's no big deal. I shouldn't have to ask you to stop talking to another girl if you truly respected me and our family. The fact that I'm having to write all of this proves your disloyalty to me. The constant trauma is making me weaker and weaker. But you don't see it

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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