'alone'

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There is something cold and dark inside of me. What else can it be called?
i'm giving up, i guess he won't notice anyway taking space is my revolt it wouldn't work if i tried   i've been trying so hard to actually talk to him but anxiety takes form as my shadow
sweetheart i'm dying to hold you once more and sweetheart i'm trying to love you like before   but that last goodbye i cried for your embrace and you didn't even try
i just wanna lay down next to you and feel your weight in my arms  i just wanna look into your eyes and sense getting lost forever  i just wanna kiss your lips and feel the soft pink of flesh
This isn't much different. Just further, more stagnant. I sit in my room with the lights dim, losing track of the days and my brain's caving in but-
I saw him, but then I remembered he is no more ¶¶¶¶¶ It's funny right? How you were here once, but now you aren't.
O Music! Towards you I wander  after longing for a lovely friend.  You open your arms wide, tell me I’m not alone,  hold me close to your soul, 
my heart is empty heavy like a led weight yet i walk ever steady down the thickly wooded path on this dark and ominous night   moving debri and thicket out of my way
My tears spill over Forever leaking, gushing, flowing tears The embodiment of fear and disappointment Am I not enough? Not worthy of love Worthless
Spiralling Spiralling Spiralling A one way trip but she's blocked Left, right, up Too much for goddess of madness to concoct It won't go through She can't get in Had to bid adieu To left, right, up
You see, When I take a moment and look back. Back at all the moments in my past, I see all the dreams I've left behind. All the scenes I left unseen and I think, I think "where did the time go?" When I close my eyes  and listen, Just listen to you
Endless ocean of stolen tears Only the waves know your fears Crashes and ashes and waterfall gears Irrelevance fades as you soak up the beer
Your words dropped to the floor like the weapons that they were,For you cared not for what you meant to me,For you cared not that your words stung like a slap to the face,
I needed you like I needed a cigarette. Like tar to my lungs, you poisoned my life. I was only 17 and thought, "This is what love is"... It was more like drowning.  
An antagonizing demon festered a feeling of imminent destruction within this decaying body
It's how it is, it's life. I look up and there's a big cloud; Caterpillar shaped and fluffy.   I look down and there's a hole in my sock. I stare across and there's a beautiful smile
So when you're finished with me, Will I be disposed like an old wash towel? Torn, worn, and rough on the corners. Loose threading and loose ends. Am I no longer worthy to clean up your mess?
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