'eating disorders'
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Crying, kicking, screaming
Tired of the yelling
In the car and to the office
Face to face; eyes burning
It will be ok
At least that's what I said
I don't want to do it
I'll never be better
“You are a bloody glutton, aren’t you”
Café au lait irises, dilate like the peak of a coca rush.
Cinnamon skin — suddenly torched cherry red, on my apples of my cheeks.
Do you remember that time at that place with those people? How could I forget? Omg that was the best! I totally miss it! Remember that time that you were crying in the bathroom and I pretended I didn’t hear you? Oh yeah!
Cadbury eggs at 1 AM
How much lower could you be?
I know that it does not mean much
But it could be two or three?
Besides don’t I deserve this?
For waking up before it was 2
Day one
Religious
Dependent
Straight.
Youngest
Church is ok, would rather be somewhere else
“Baby’d” if you may
Day one
Religious
Dependent
Straight.
Youngest
Church is ok, would rather be somewhere else
“Baby’d” if you may
I can’t win this battle,
So, don’t you dare tell me that,
I am stronger than I look.
I have a bruised broken-down soul but,
I know that
“It’s what’s on the inside that counts”
My insides are dying and
She promised me control
and gave me just that
for a price
my life,
my body,
my soul.
Trips to a box
to rid myself of fuel
so happily consumed
so easily expelled
You were a slow, quiet death.You kicked my heels out from beneath meAnd held my hand the whole time. Learning tactics of self detriment by trial and error,I am the barrier between rational and fucking stupid--Until the skeleton ghost was all that
Think about it too much?
or not enough?
Will I ever believe in trust?
believe in me, and my own skin?
or will I fight, against my kin?
Did she hide because she was scared?
What was she scared of?
Did she even know?
Was she jealous?
Of what?
What do I have that she doesn’t?
she knows in her heart
it cannot be done
don't we all?
and so she does it anyway...
hiding behind a mask
seeking to achieve
When I was 8 I started watching CSI shows every single night!
Because I NEEDED to know who officer Milton arrested this time.
At 10 mom got me a CSI kit equipped with hand cuffs, walkie talkies, and a DNA test
Dear Body,
I am sorry.
Dear Body,
You are the vessel that gives me life,
The structure that gives me unconditional support,
Dear Natalochka, I love you.You have always been loved,And you will always be loved. You can stop looking for loveOutside yourself.You won’t find it there.For the love that you are looking forIs within.It fills your heart with lightAnd glows throu
Dear Friend,
You are
Precious.
From you hair to you nose
Your freckles to your toes,
You were created for this,
You were created for life.
Dear Friend,
Why I got bad grades in school
Why I don’t care about the news
Why I listen to inappropriate rap
Why I smoked cigarettes
Why I want to be skinnier
Why I dress differently
Why I like my curtains closed
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Dear 13-year-old me,
Here's something to keep in mind.
You're going to spend too many months
Thinking you have worth you have yet to find.
You are more than that tiny number
Showing up on the scale
