You took me out on adventures all the time, knowing i had anxiety, saying it was fine.
You didn't let my fears take over- every event was another step closer to feeling free from the anxiousness that was attached to me.
Walked out to my car.. first day at a new job so you know i was feeling tensed up. Open the car door and see post-it notes galore
"You got this baby", "I'm proud of you" just a lot of positive writings all inside the car.
My mind instantly was at ease, started the engine just to see that you had also made me a new mixed CD.
I was calm i was happy, when the hell did it turn so nasty?
You drove your stick shift eclipse & we went to your friends.
Your first beer..my phone on 10%. You said its cool baby relax you don't need to use any of that.
Third beer now , phones dead starting to feel awkward because i don't connect with the rednecks where we coolin it at
Six beers, I'm getting tired.. 'Maybe you should relax , its a drive back & you're starting another pack'
"No bitch I'm fine, you cant tell me how to live my life", you slurred laughing with all your friends surrounding.
Pulled you aside and reminded you i couldn't drive stick. . you came back with a slap to my face. "I'm not a pussy i can surely drive, embarrass me in front of my friends again and another punishment will arrive"
Shocked doesn't explain it, who even is this guy ?
Mind starts racing, how do i escape?
Hours later you said its time to go, we stop at the Y right there by Hoke road. You pulled into the parking lot , pushed me out of the car and told me to have my "bitch ass" walk home & you closed the door, didnt say goodbye.
"Good morning babe, sorry about last night you know i love you, everything's alright"
I said okay, alright - i trusted him i mean it was just one time plus he was drunk, so does it even really count ?
Few years pass the next thing i know getting pushed against the wall telling me I'm nothing at all was a common routine to be seen.
So much trust was given to you, you're the one person that was able to break down my anxious walls - but then you twisted it to form me into feeling like im a burden to all.
3 years I finally figured out I was brainwashed by you , a lowlife scum on this earth that i, according to you, didn't even deserve.
Tried to break it off and i found you getting a gun. "I love you so much tho , i cant live without you, baby you're the one"
I didn't hesitate, i had enough .. I walked out the door and wished you good luck.
After all that's said and done don't feel bad for me , I'm not the one. Feel bad for you - you cant control your emotions , your drinking , & you're new found cocaine addiction.
Yes i feel dumb to have not known i was corrupted by yes you, that little piece of scum. But its cool, its alright its a life lesson that will never happen again.