agender
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i am not a woman
i'm not a girl
not a lady
not she
at least... not exclusively
i am... they
i am he
i am, first and foremost, a person
just a person
just... me
i slept
in my binder
last night,
the fabric compressing
tight
holding my ribs
close
Terrible.
Tasteless.
Taboo.
All are words to describe,
What I long for.
It doesn't hurt me,
It doesn't hurt you,
So why does it matter?
Terrific.
Adjusting the disgusting bra on my chest,
I flip ratty, old dress over my head.
Glancing in the mirror, I feel so wrong.
One year older,
Another year lost.
Another year waiting,
I paid the cost.
One year of dysphoria,
And hiding from the summer sun.
One year of being ignored,
Stuffed under the pink rug.
Everytime I see the doctor,
I pretend to be who they want me to,
Or who they think I am.
For I know if I tell them,
They'd invalidate me instead:
"You are female."
"Forget about it."
Am I not human,
For having the courage,
To stand up,
And embrace who I am?
I am no different from you,
We eat the same food,
Breath the same air,
Is it just because I wear a binder,
Because I love you...
I'll support your decisions,
Stand by you during your transitions,
Be on your side in the hardest times,
Give you hugs even when midnight chimes,
He’s just a token
Of his family’s disappointment
A silent reminder of what’s bad
All the dark in this world
He’s just a token
How to drop your body offbehind a dumpster and transforminto a bird, eyes fluttering with eye shadowbeak puckered with lipstickFly into a club and look beautifulGo to the bathroom and transform
My eyes translate images into a new language outside the two edges of the globe.
The striped shirt hanging loosely on a rack
In the middle of a crowded Marshall's
Has not the label of male or female.
I go walking down the street in my local town, just like you.
I catch the same bus to go to work everyday, just like you.
I browse some shops and buy food to provide for myself, just like you.
I am confused
Make no mistakes
I am not sure where I'm going in life
And I am no sure how I'm getting there
At this moment
I am not
A girl or boy
Gay or straight
I do not know who I am
Why, what is it so hard to understand I want to be called as they and them. Why do people insist on being so ignorant. Refuse to believe there are genders outside of the binary. Even when we are living proof!
Oh! There it is,The blood of my Mothers’SinsBlossoming onMy white sheetsLike a bouquet of English roses.A shame -Laundry day hadBeen yesterday. My thighs have been painted
The crown held high upon my head
The pain I feel in my heart as I look out
The Kingdom before me filled with dread
I hear a man in the crowd shout
"Where is our Queen?"
Every day I wake up in the wrong body
The misconceptions it causes
make me feel less like a miss
and more like a mistake
You might think you aren't seen
You might think I'm unaware
But I know those looks all too well
The stares and glances
The whispers behind hands
The words "Is that a boy or girl?"
