Anorexia eating disorder

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  Last year was the time I went through hell Hospitalized and treated for an eating disorder
you turned me down and said that I was not particularly your taste so I let the drums in my stomach rumble but I still couldnt feed you
There is light- Somewhere beyond this tunnel. I cannot see it but I'm told it's there. There is light- Somewhere lost in the darkness that is held within my eyes. I cannot fathom it-
My footprints and fatal errors in the past are drowning me. Killing me with such guilt and preventing my breaths. I wore an armor of thousands summer.  
Dear Ana Rexia, Hello, it's me, Maddie; your long time friend or, more accurately, long time slave.  I'm writing this letter to say I think it's time we ended our relationship.
Counting calories day and night, Wondering if I should take this bite. Anxiety muddled and riddled through; Left feeling empty and 'whatever do I do'??
Last year I was a skeleton, made of skin and Bone. Pale and sickly, but nothing could stop me. The help was not enough. Sent to the hospital, heart almost stopped. Inpatient hospital
I’ve always wanted to be a magician Always wanted to make things magically disappear Just like when I saw a man place a sheet over a woman
Kneeling in the shower, hands pressed tightly to her ribs.  Who is this frightened child?  Does she even exist?  She took a step back from the world, no one knows she’s alive.  Now she’s grasping at her life, just trying to survive.
            Anorexia killed love in her life but Recovery led her to find it             Young naïve girl is afraid of the world.             She looks at herself in the mirror and hates the girl starring back at her.
Fat thats what I am Ugly that's what I think when I look into the mirror, that mirror that just looks deeper into my eyes, that sees the hunger that fills them.Searching for the food that will stop the never-ending disorder.Help help that's what m
Fat thats what I am. Ugly that's what I think when i look into the mirror, that mirror that just looks deeper into my eyes, that sees the hunger that fills them.
Your ribs are screaming at the surface of your skin, your spine like jagged mountains splitting your back The light in your eyes is hidden behind a film of cigarette smoke and sadness
This cloudy mindset, now my norm. The aching pains, I learned to ignore. The feverish chills, that I possess. Just another day, of living with death.   I cannot think straight.
Ana, they call her One "n" not two Ana, they call her  A friend for you Ana, they call her Give her a few For Ana gets jealous Of friends who are new  
Hi! my name is… unimportant Hi! My name is… unneededHi! My name is..nothing it means nothing It is Obsolete at this point there is no going back
For the First Time   The first time I had ever heard of anorexia I was eight years old, And I was sitting on Mommy’s lap. “They starve themselves,” she told me “Why would they do that?”
They tell her it’s good for her and that they’re guilty they noticed too late that it’s vital for her it’s wrong (what she’s been doing during this prolonged period of pain).  
You would never know walking past me.   You would never suspect talking to me.   You would never know that my laughter keeps me from screaming  
Is it bad that I see myself as FAT? Is it bad that I secretly want to be underweight? Is it bad that im never completely happy? Is it bad that I lie to my loved ones? Is it bad that I cannot eat for days?
Eating was hard, breathing was hard. But living was the hardest part.  
Today Today I started up the set of thirteen stairs it takes to get to my room, But I was too weak so I stopped at the sixth step, Sat down, And caught my breath how many days, had it been?   Today
Feet together Head up  Collarbones out Flat tummy Hipbones jutting out Hair long Pin straight Sleeves back Clear wrists Eyes focused Blue sky Fake smile
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