Recovery

No one said that this was going to be easy, but it is something that you know you have to do,

And when you first embark on this journey it can be difficult because you do not have a clue.

However, it is one of those things where if you think about it too long than you know you are not going to do it,

So you just decide to go for it, and it can be hard to follow through, but you know that you have come to far to quit.

It has it's ups, and it has it's downs, and sometimes you feel as if this is going to be too hard,

But slowly, as time goes on, you start to realize that you can't do this alone and you let down your guard.

You tell your loved ones about what it is that you are trying to do, and they may be confused and they may not understand, 

But at least you know that they are aware of the situation, and if you need, then they are there to lend a helping hand.

One day you could feel great and think that this is going to be easy and that you have it all under control, 

And the next day could be so hard that you feel as if you are breaking, and that there is no way that you could bury yourself out of that hole.

However, one step at a time, you take it litttle by little and day by day,

And you start to see that the horrible relationship that you built with your body and food may not always have to be that way.

It's true what they say, that recovery takes time and that you may want to go all in with a full force,

But by doing that you are setting your self up for failure, and you know that it is going to be difficult to remain constant on that course.

No matter how long it may take, the important thing to remember is why you are doing this, even when it seems like recovery is something that you will never be able to get,

And you have to constantly remind yourself why you are fighting so hard because it may be easy to forget,

Eating one cookie or one piece of cake is not going to make you fat, 

And it is okay to find balance and to once in a while live your life like that.

I once heard someone say that life is to short to measure out your cornflakes, 

And having an eating disorder can be exhausting, and there comes a time when you need to learn to take a break.

Whether it be anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, or any other type of eating disorder, I know how hard it can be,

And it can be really difficult to make the people around you understand so they can finally see.

It is a battle that you don't have to fight alone, even though the desire to get better has to come from you,

But it will get better, and it is a fight that you have inside of you, but you just never knew.

Change is hard in the beginning, messy in the middle and marvelous in the end,

And you can go from hating your body, to recovering and having it become your best friend.

You can get help whenever you need, you don't have to feel as if you are not sick enough to get it and you don't have to feel as if you are beyond saving,

Because the freedom that you will gain will help you live the life that you have constantly been craving. 

This is scary and it is worth it in the end because everyone deserves their shot at recovery,

Because being able to live your life without obsessing over calories and your body is an amazing discovery.

This poem is about: 
Me

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