self growth
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It is true that nothing fixed was not first broken
When the rays of sun filter through the clouds and breathe spring into early May
It is only a deep exhale after winter’s tense, repressed torment
Everything is swirling and spinning
'round 'n 'round in my head
Their decitful kind eyes and sacchrine smiles
lure me in but shun me all the same
For in their eyes I am who I am painted to be
The reflection in the pond
of the five flowers that bloomed on the bank
displayed like towers to my floor level frame.
Surrounded by the dirt and decomposed,
and the water swamping my sorrowed leaves
18 year gone by so quick. From learning how to walk to almost crossing stage into the chapter of this life of mine.
I grew up not knowing much, I only learned about God and such.
See I felt above because I only knew of God’s touch.
I didn’t know about depression, anxiety, drugs, these things that I saw as odd.
Take a breath,
pause.
Step back,
pause.
Am I okay?
Sit at home wondering why,
my body isn't like theirs.
My voice isn't like theirs.
It's like the world is,
Dear Mirror,
I remember a time that I looked upon your face and saw your smile
Your hair was done in two small pleats and bounced all the while
So you say you’re sorry,
But is that so,
Then how come you hack at my weeds
When I only wish to grow.
I may have thorns, and needles, and vines,
I am not your alcohol. You can’t drink me, bottles upon bottles and forget my name when tomorrow morning hits. I refuse to be anyone’s drunken mistake.
hey, eighteen is a weird transitional phase
youre naive to think you know what you want but too young to realize you dont know anything.
youre going to travel halfway across the country
It's been a year
Only a year...
So why so many tears?
Why so many fears?
People have come
People have gone
There's been a few who have stayed along
And they've helped me become strong
Suppose someone told you that you just didn't make the cut,That you just weren't good enoughFor their level of expectations,That you weren'tWhat they needed to thrive.
"What would you do?"
Make mistakes.
So many of them.
So many so that one day you can look back and it and smile and say.
I did it.
I made it.
I used to be that girl
Don't you know the one
The switch in her walk
The glint in her eyes
The giggle of surprise
Don't you know that girl I used to be
Hiding behind a wall of uncertanty
