What happened in December

I couldn't sleep right,
I thought I was texting you all night.
You seem to take advantage of my kindness.
I never thought it would ever happen.
You explain things as if you're always right.
Little do you know it breaks me inside.
My mind is filled with thoughts I can't even explain.
I know you want to understand me but it's blocked with all the pain I caused you.
You still can't forgive me and never will for what happened in December.
I deserve the hate, I always have.
I hurt you and you hurt me,
But we always want each other back.
I can't live my life without you.
But my past actions, thoughts and doubts tell me not to.
I can't be capable of loving you because you can't be capable of forgiving me.
It's always hard to forgive you but I always do.
You still can't forgive me and never will for what happened in December.
Why is it so hard to forget?
Why can't we just put it to rest?
Why do I question love?
Why can't we live in the present and look for the future like we used to?
We always end up together and then apart.
I just can't handle the pain again and again.
I never have been able to.
I forget things when you always remember.
Yet you still can't forgive me and never will for what happened in December.

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