This Timid Mouse

 

You promised you love me,

but you don’t even care.

You are only close enough

to push me around

without accepting the effects

of a guilty rebound.

I desperately want to hate you

but I’m so hopelessly forsaken,

that I continue to forgive

as you return with the constant mask

of a confidently blameless face,

once again.

You have shut a door

to everyone I love

so that you are the only one

who remains to turn to.

Although I wish I didn’t,

I feel like I need you.

I know life would be easier

without you pushing me down,

But I am thoroughly stuck

in your slippery lies.

And my fears scream in false proof

that I can never leave you now.

The terror that suffocates

is a cycle that I cannot escape.

As you strike me again

I realize my vulnerability

will never change.

And I know it is so deranged

for a timid mouse

to seek a sanctuary

in the jaws of a snake.

And yet I cling to you more than before,

although you are the serpent

that has made me so small.

And now your threats

are a poisonous hiss behind

your intimidating cage of fangs.

And I wholly believe

The insults that spit and spray

from your merciless tongue

because this pitiful mouse

no longer knows

how to think

for itself.

 

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