Sometimes I Don't Know What to Say

I don't know how to write a poem when I don't know what to say
When I don't want to stick around but I'm too numb to run away
And I don't know what to say because that fear was all I knew
But I don't feel anything now and
I think I forgot how to rhyme-
Or maybe I didn't
I guess it just seems less pressing
Because the real thing that's pressing me
Has made such a mess of me
Got me on this confessing spree
Showing what's the boss of me-
And it is. Always has been
I pretend like it's not there when I know it'll come back again
And it comes back every time
And I can fake it all I want but I know it's just a matter of time
Before it hits me one more time
Please, not me this time, God
I just need more time, God
More time and it'll all be fine, God
Right, God?
I don't see it right now
All I see is this angry bull staring me down
And I know it's gonna hurt when he finally comes around
But I just don't think that I'm ready for this round
I just want to climb a tree
And do things with my friends and pretend they're all like me
Or maybe that I'm like them because they don't know the things I do
Like how the things that hurt the most are the things that are sposeda help you
Or how when you're in a hospital you never forget the smell
And you know it'll save your life but it just feels like living hell
And I don't want them to know that
So God, I pray they never do
And please keep your hand over them like I wish that I could, too...

I don't know how to write a poem when I don't know what to say
And sometimes the same thing happens when I come to You to pray
Because I cried out three times for you to take it away
But you haven't done that so I'll stick it out another day
And choke out these words that I really hope you hear
Because they don't all make sense to me but you can me it clear so

My Father who art in heaven
Hallowed be the thy name
Thy Kingdom come, They will be done
On Earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread and
Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors
Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil
For Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever

And I guess that's all that matters

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