People always leave me

Eventually everyone gets tired of the girl who is depressed for no reason

I do

And if I'm not cutting

I'm not eating

And if not that

I'm punching the wall or myself until my son is a unnatural shade of purple

But that doesn't do anything for me

There isn't a way to fix me

I don't need a reason not to do these things

Because they can take every good thing and morph it into something

Anything

That could ever possibly go wrong

I love you more than anything

But what happens when I can't communicate a boundary

And then it's passed

What happens when I'm too fucking scared to talk

Even to you

Because what hurts me the most

Is the pain I inflict on others

Simply by harming myself.

You can't run from all your problems

Not if they're in your head

And every single thing I'm trying to run from

Is inside me

How can I kill them

Without killing myself?

That's just it, nothing

I can't .