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Rico’s Way
See I knew from the start that you weren’t worthy of my heart,
still I held you up and never set you apart.
He stands one hundred feet above ground,
on top of some
abandoned building;
perched on the edge
of life.
His Arms bend in wicked ways, and
Trigger Warning
Chinese food.
The smell of the foreign cuisine
Makes my ribs ache in agony
as nausea overpowers my senses
until all that is left is desperate panic.
blood colored stains under my skin
left from the pressure under your finger tips
pinning me down with love
because i dont believe its true if it doesnt hurt
Will be like this:
R.I.P. Bob
and tears
and probably more tears.
However, there is more than just death and mourn.
Your story won't die.
And I ask myself every time, why I keep running back to you Countless times, although you've given me nothing Why I turn back To stare at you in the rearview mirror of my mind
It is extremely difficult to break you open.
Prying, peeling, pulling, plastic parts.
Where to do it.
You eagerly tear at my stockings.
i miss having someone to talk to.
you make me feel like a poem.
it’s subtle, sharp around the edges,
but only because it keeps me safe.
I am the wild youth.
I am made to become something as I had started,
But I stand here as nothing.
My voice is the loudest, the most rebellious, and the angriest,
I needed you like I needed a cigarette. Like tar to my lungs, you poisoned my life. I was only 17 and thought, "This is what love is"...
It was more like drowning.
I pressed my pen to the paper,
realizing it could cut deeper than any blade,
and the words flowed faster and thicker with emotion,
faster and thicker than blood ever could from my wrist
I met a girl once,
whose hair absorbed sunlight and face repelled it.
She said she was allergic to daisies and fireworks,
armpit fat and turmeric
It's been a year.A year since you broke me.
It's been a year since you cut into my fleshBefore I even got the chance toAfter telling me how horrible it is.
his arms burned my skin.
i can feel his wet lips against my skin.
he had branded me.
To the ones who press blades to their thighs. I ask, do you also think the dragging metal feels like the clouds in the sky? People think we are weak but they don't understand that the pain we create is a pain we seek.
When you rape someone, You take more than their innocence, You take their life, Not physically, But mentally,Every corner is a fear,Every person they walk by is you, Every time they get close to someone,They fear the comments that come from tellin
*snap*
Severed ends of a good mood
*snip*
They walk out of sight and out of life
*rip*
Your carefully assembled resolve dissolves
It takes the tiniest thing to start it.
The smallest mistake, the tiniest fuck up, and I'm going.
Suddenly every little thing is a big screw up or a fluke and I don't deserve to be here
Can't describe the begining.
Sometimes my brain is not kind to me.
It started when I was twelve years old.
My classmate, a year older, had marks on her ankles.
Red
perfect
lines
I was born in the fall of 1998, to a woman I never called mom.
Picked up at four months old, by a couple looking for a daughter.
My formative years were great…except when they weren't.
Damn, I just lost my fucking blade againCuts all on my thighs, what a fucked up work of art Broke the pencil sharpener today at schoolRipped the blade out and shoved it in my shoeWent home and locked the bedroom door
There's a song in the streets.
It's right below our feet.
We choose to ignore it.
We all learn to take a hit.
There's a child screaming mercy.
The President's a controversy.
Having a mental ilness is like walking blindfolded in a forest
You can never rest, you feel you can count on no one
Because your brain tells you there is no one
It says: "You don't have any friend but me"
I am a cookie cutter
Sharp edges and commonplace
Useless on my own
I am a cookie cutter
Brown bright eyes as a college freshman
Glad It’s Over.
Because it was closer than the celebrities for me.
He died.
Then he died.
Then he died.
And it all piled up.
it said jump.
curiousity.
my head starts to spin.
desire.
climbing to the top.
adrenaline.
my feet leave the edge.
fear.
falling through the air.
Is it called suicidal if it’s not
right this minute that you want to die?
I have a lot to look forward to.
It’s just that, sometimes, I don’t particularly
Trigger WarningsThey aren't always easy to avoid. Simple phares"Because you're special"I don't feel special when things happen to me and I don't understand them."But you are"When someone tries to argue back when I ask them not at say that.Trigger
A girl. Eleven years old. Same girl. Twelve years old. Same girl. Fourteen years old. Same girl. Eighteen years old. What do they have in common? They have brown hair. They love to sing.
Lonely and sadbut further than thatI am something moresomething I cannot yet understandWhatever this isIt takes hold of me like a three year old grasping their favorite toy
The house, dark--locked doors
behind which secrets floated.
My emotions were like poison
to me and all others.
Weak, debased,
I turned to a place
where no one judged;
Tell her that the way her bones stick out from her body is sexy
Explain to her that you don’t like “big girls”
Tell her that the gap in her thighs
I want to thank you
No, really
Thank you, Father
Thank you for all the sleepless nights
Thank you for making me fear for my sisters' safety
Kiss my hand before you break my fingers,
The stinging pain will always linger.
Light fingertips stroke my cheek before you leave a bruise,
Without an option, there is no way I may refuse.
The day he left was the day it all started
That day I decided to tread into waters uncharted.
I acknowledged how fun it was to be a sight that men drool to see
When I was young I hated the summer
Sweat, tight clothes, overflowing out of stiff shorts
Sucking in, holding my breath
Standing up stiff and straight- I couldn't wait to be underwater
Where no one could see me
Like anger
The alcohol courses through my blood
Whispering sweet nothings to a deaf ear
Promising better tomorrow's
And more beautiful tragedies.
There is no rhyme or reason
To the fury in our souls
I’ve sat in this hospital bed for days
Wondering, contemplating, thinking,
Believing
Maybe I belong here.
Maybe I am as crazy as you say I am.
Maybe I was asking for it.
I look in the mirror
I don't see me
I just see her
The demon that haunts my every thought and dream
Some call her Ana
I usually just say
Ana Please
Ana,
Hear me,
oh cruel gods of Olympus,
for one of your own is fading.
Pan is dying,
oh our beloved Pan is dying.
"Great Pan is dead!"
Thamus yells.
Alas, the news is only greeted
Mistrust and suspicion rule in my brain
They run cross country inside my heart.
Loud thumping, mind racing, loosing the control
Your breaths quicken and your sight blurs.
Often in movies
people are reassured
that one mistake will not define their entire life.
It can’t.
But i’m worried that mine will.
The more fat-filled shit you shovel in your pie-hole, the less it hurts.
Shove it all down your throat until you can hold no more.
Feel the warmth of your filled stomach.
It expands farther than normal.
I am the alcohol on his breath and the anger that rolls off him in waves.
I am thick sweatshirts in July and that time my mom told me to stop wearing so much foundation so she could see my "pretty skin."
she says,
"I knew I was getting better
when I starting singing again"
so I stop humming along to the noise spilling out of my radio.
I wait for the sadness to crawl up my throat,
Darling, stop.
Look at the mess you've made of yourself.
How did you end up here?
Going to sleep, hoping not to wake,
searching for your release in the form of blood and a blade?
Aren't you tired of this?
Your only love
is the blades
that cut your skin.
I want to help,
but don't know how.
Don't want to hurt further.
So I stay back.
Please heal.
Please be better.
Sharp, angled cheekbones,
like mountain tops.
Silhouetted against the azure
of your hair.
Jutting collarbones,
filled with shadows--
of the past?
Of your mind?
Prominent ribs,
People always leave me
Eventually everyone gets tired of the girl who is depressed for no reason
I do
And if I'm not cutting
I'm not eating
And if not that
"Write about a trouble in your life," they say-
but in no way
can I relay
the way that I got laid
It feels as if my night was centered around boys
I.
The Heartbreaker
I think myself a zebra
A zebra up and down my legs
My stripes? The lovely color red.
Why?
It's stupid.
Why on earth would you want red stripes?
I just wanted to see
I constantly feel like I'm growing,
my knowledge, height, but always terrified of it happening to my waist
because that's what I was taught growing up
that beauty depended on the number on a scale
So long as we are being honest, I need
you to recognize me as something more
than a walking aquarium of improbabilities;
Love (n): a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
1. You made me realize that love
is more than fairy tale bullshit.
Sometimes a princess isn’t waiting
for a prince.
