I'm Coping, Right?

I don't want your love songs

I don't want your melody tastes

Everything was a lie and now there's no music

Only silence and emptiness

I confessed to you one morning

Long after the sun had gone down

But long before it came up

That I hated the silence

That it was one of the only things I've ever feared

Because where you hear nothing I hear screams

And you cried with me and told me you believed

But you didn't, did you?

A part of my DNA that few have ever seen

And I showed it to a liar

We used to have the same Heaven

But when Heaven didn't call your name

You claimed it wasn't your Heaven anymore

You left our Heaven to find a new one

But see, my Heaven doesn't want me either

But I can't leave, I can't go find another one

Because when my Heaven tells me of my sins

And my Heaven tells me I don't deserve it

I believe

Belief, belief, belief

Just because you don't believe doesn't make you immune

The spirits still find you

And God stills casts down his wrath at you

You are still judged by the same rules

Justice is not your call, and it's decision is final

It doesn't matter if I leave

It doesn't matter if I ignore the demons

I will still be judged

And you

You gave me the most beautiful love songs

And you told me you believed

In me, in yourself, in us

But you lied, didn't you?

Now I can't listen to my favorite song

Because you sang it to me

And the song I was going to dace to at my wedding

Must be paused and silenced

Because I should have been dancing with you

I don't want your love songs

And I don't want your music tastes

But if I rid myself of them

Then I will only have that silence I fear so deeply

Because your songs became my favorites

When I still believed

 

This poem is about: 
Me
Our world

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741