When I was a child I was my true self

Fashionable, creative, honest, loving, confident, I cared about the world and all it's beings, I didn't need or want anyones opinion

Then when my grandmother passed away in 8th grade

It hit me hard

I felt guilty because I rushed out of hospice the last time I saw her

I felt like my friends ditch me if I told them about my guilt so I kept it to myself

I put up walls

I put a filter over myself to become what my friends were to be accepted

I couldn't take anymore lost

Those friends were fake and I got them out of my life

But the wall still stood

As I started to get real friends it started to come down one brick at a time

As my true self comes back out I have to use my filter less and less