Gest(f)a(u)ltism
We passed the field by my house,
Where you used to say sorry;
Words never held meaning for you
Without smoke kissing lips.
I never should have.
I waited too long didn't I honey?
In this light I can't see you
Pretend I can't see in this light.
I've broken the pattern now.
Drawing blanks and filling them
With thoughts that wouldn't have
Existed in my head three months ago.
Certain papers wouldn't have existed in
These hands last year, but they ask me all the
Questions I've been asking myself this whole
Time. I remember when they floated from your
Lips, from behind a menthol cigarette across
The room. I remember thinking second Hand
Smoke would kill me if first hand didn't first.
Recently it's been impossible to clear the fog
From my windows, but at least Hindsight is
Twenty Twenty. You never spoke well enough
To realize the weight of teeth on skin, off skin,
Back on again.
Kiss me like the first time;
Leave me like the first time;
Never apologize.
There's a pattern to this that I never wanted to create.
I guess I didn't break it after all.