Remember that September embrace
where I dug my nails into your back and
planted roots right into your ribcage?
The oxygen you breathed was oxygen for me and
kept my roots buried, kept my mood merry,
along with the veins in your body today.
The blood pumping, flowing, going,
danced around my roots,
forced to make me move,
further and closer and faster to your heart,
follow you through your shaky system,
fighting and finding my way to our start.
I want to say no. No
you don’t get to smell the flowers that know
me by name; no
you don’t get to touch the water
that quenches the flames
I have in my throat.
You have given up; nope,
you’ve given us away.
Life is turning the other way,
Life is giving its back to you,
left your hand
by your side and left alone.
So leave your pride;
you have a body but without
So to reiterate: NO.
You don’t get to look into my eyes
and tell me how to stop, how to not,
how to love,
when, why, who, and where,
what time and how fierce.
So fuck your feelings
since you’ve been fucking with mine
behind my back like a silent attack,
the worst kind.
I planted seeds inside your soul
hoping it would grow, grow, grow
inside your whole entire body,
expose you to your open home,
but you poisoned my potential
and I paid the price
before you got to realise that
it was me.
I was giving you pieces of me
that I can’t take back, that I won’t take back,
that you can’t give back because
that’s not allowed.
I won’t allow for you to waste the effort
I exerted, and though it hurt,
just know I meant it; I never lent it
‘cause I knew that you were worth
every word I ever spoke and ever wrote
in every note about the things
I wanted to give.
Just know that it was real and that I cared,
that I was aware; what I gave you
were parts of me that I don’t reveal,
but I wasn’t scared.
You need them as I bleed them, more than I do,
here’s an example; take a lesson from me
and see what I think of, dream of, and wake up:
Darling, this is how we’re meant to love.
Darling, this is how we’re supposed to love.