Here I am watching the rain whip through the window

The water seeps in the cracks of the thirsty hard wood floor

My face is soaking wet as I stand by the window, watching you leave

Tears, pain leaving my body, mixed with shortening of breath

With every splashing step of yours I feel my heart chipping away

Memories flood back and emptiness fills my chest

My ears ring as you start the truck, my hand on my throat

Trying to massage the huge lump in my throat so I can breathe

Freezing but I accept it, It numbs me

I see you speed off and I fall to my knees as if a rope tied me to the truck.

Instinct brings me back to the coffee shop where we met

Such a beautiful creature you were....are

If I had known I would have fallen for you like this I would have walked out

Your eyes drew me in and your smile caputered the butterflies fluttering in my belly

If I had known I would be standing here wishing for death 

If I had known....

You might as well have literally cut out my heart with a jagged, rusty knife

Delusional I hear you breathing in my ear telling me about my imperfections

But your words entangle me with passion and I don't care because you end it with "I love you" 

Your voice so clear.

I knew of heartache before I met you but this, this is cruel, this is an internal and everlasting Hell in my soul

My Heaven Sent Angel and My Silver Tongued Devil in one, My Ying and Yang

Here I am with the blade ripping at the pain

The Blood seeps in the cracks of the thirsty hard wood floor

My wrists soaking wet as I lay on the floor, hoping  you'll come back