Panic Attacks

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Plagued with walls of doubtMy mind begins to frayMy thoughts beg to strayAnd it all spills out
Never to bed, early to rise Adds to the rings beneath my eye The gray and purple, these colors shine through You'd call them your favorites if you had them too No rest for the wicked's what I always said
Rocking back and forth Waves crash and rain pounds He is asleep in the cabin, unwoken Alone, sea churns hammering the sturn Tangled ropes of the sail & rigging
Heart pounding too fast,can't breathe,soul locked in the dizzy cageas I spin to the frequency of the world too fast, too loud.It's all crashing down now.I am TNT lit at both ends,
My mentor is the weighty, wheezing breath at the top of a steep hill  on days when I already know I’m late for first period. It's the carbon dioxide my lungs won’t let out in a sharpie-smeared bathroom stall
How could you let me down? My dear brain, your power is so immense But you lash out on me.   Why me?   For once let me have one thought one idea
Too loud, too loud Eyes drowned, head bowed Clap hands over ears Fingers leave bruises But must hold in the music To suspend myself from reality Hear rhythm rapping the only words that make sense
Last night, I couldn't breathe  And so I couldn't think.  I was so desperate to stay alive,  I stabbed people hurting to  Claw my way to the surface.  I never thought I'd drown in open air. 
Eyes heavy, body trembling, nightmares vast. She's harassed by the forecast of the past. Demons disguised in the form of lovers Until she discovered their true colors. She was used and abused, 
I started with a frown My year already felt down   I was in a trap Under wraps I saw fear right in front of me   Every day it would come To take my happiness away
Imagine a roller coaster Perhaps your favorite thrill ride Or one that scared you to death The wildest one you've ever ridden  Picture your car
How many people know What it feels like To have anxiety How many know What a panic attack Feels like To be unable To communicate  To freeze up in public To find an escape route
Chest       Heaving               Breath                   Leaving                         Health                               Needing                                       Help  Me. 
No. No. No. Please no.My pulse beats fasterThe muscles ache in my palmsDon’t do this. Don’t cry.
It’s the middle of the night. I let the clock reach 2am before I realize that it’s going to be one of those nights. Before I accept that it will be one of those nights.
I sit. Everything is ok. Then it starts. My heart starts to pound. My hands start to sweat. I can feel my breath start to quicken. Faster, and faster.  
I am strong -er than I was before Curled up, shaking, on the floor. Panic attacks that would make me weak.
The guy by the popcorn stand proceeds to where I stand here.
I start to wonder, wander through my mind that life
breathe intry not to throw upsqueeze eyes shuthold breathfreak outbreathe back outand pretend to be calm
You know stress? Worry? That panic that grips your chest and rips you apart in the middle of the night? Because thinking about the future incites this feeling of needing to explode because you're not ready.
Overwhelmed. About to die. Can't breath with my chest this tight. I wish I could just get over it  Like everybody says. But it's not that easy. 
This stress triggers my anxietybecause I can’t handle you being mad at mefor any reason. It makes me nervous.I think, "Do I really deserve this?"or is my mind just ten steps ahead of reality?
  I try to speak, But no words come. I try to open my eyes, But I can’t see any light. I try to breath, But no air comes in. This mask of normalcy, It inhibits me.
Chorus:   I'm stressed out A lot of stuff on my mind, I don't know what to do I'm stressed out I just want to be alone, so I'm sitting in my room I'm stressed out
Once there was a man who left and his little girl was sad she cut her wrists and bleed for him as she wished to call him, dad there was an incident that spurred the path the family was split
panic arches in my gut, deep and visceral pain  and i can't breathe, can't see, can't hear  anything but the relentless beat of a butterfly's wing against my rib cage
When the walls move in and the room gets small, When the ground disappears and I suddenly fall, When the sky gets so dark I can only see black, When reality disappears, I have a panic attack…  
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