surviving
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The things I lost
Are vast.
Difficult to name,
Harder to think about
Without anger bubbling up the well in my chest
-
Whole years are smoke.
Memories, good and bad,
Swirling into empty space,
I realize that I am no longer just imagining it, but I am there
I am living in it and not just living- thriving.
Taking in the scenery around me I realize
I realize that I am no longer just imagining it, but I am there
I am living in it and not just living- thriving.
Taking in the scenery around me I realize
Searching for a way to see.
Reaching out for some kind of mercy.
Kneeling before God, I plead,
Please awaken me from this dream.
Searching for something about which to dream.
Shiver down your spine,
Voices on a cold breeze that blows over the hills.
You said you'd stay for them, for me
Please make me a promise, make us a promise.
They talk about the view from halfway down
Death came to them and said
"Look at me children"
And they refused to look
So they were reaped with the harvest
Death came to them and said
"Look at me children"
And they looked upon him
No one told me,
That surviving,
Was like seeing blind,
With no clear direction,
Mistakes on every turn,
Stumbling after something,
And almost always lost.
I was never taught,
Walking around all day, feeling like shit. The night before was
difficult, whilst laying on my pit.
I lie down at night, feeling totally spent. An hour or two quickly
passes by and then wide awake again.
I apologize that you don't like me. I apologize that you don't understand me. I apologize that you never got to know the real me. I will not apologize for being me. I will not apologize for having a dream.
Dear Cryptic Affluence,
Did I really have to go so far?
What did I do for you to drown this way?
It wasn't easy getting here,
tell me was it meant to be?
Drift…
But not too far!
As far as you can…
It’s dangerous!
It’s beautiful…
You want to die?
To finally live…
I'm sick of waiting
for the world to pass on judgement.
I'm sick of waiting for its punishment.
I'm sick of being afraid of what is to come
whether it is ot bring joy
or if it is to bring tradgedy.
I wasn't meant to be beautifulI wasn't meant for the pleasing of your eyesor the stirring of your inner loveI am meant to set a fire beneath youto make you quake in your boots
It was all one big jump back in time.
And those bad people,
All the bad they did,
And there she was helpless.
Doing what she do best.
Taking "it"
This years mighty tough, rough on my luck
Forced to keep up, but cold to the touch
Holding my tongue and counting my tears
But I have no cheer, what a wearisome year
The hardest thing to do is get up.
out of the hole, or on some peoples minds, out if bed.
When you sleep you have no worries, you can dream away; but reality is still there.
I admit I'm not tough...
I can't handle much... Or at least not at once.
Yeah...
Sometimes I cry and I can't sleep at night. I'm stressed out,
It broke me.
I need your gentle fingers
To grace my skin
As your warm arms embrace me
And hold me together
I need your soft lips
To linger on each syllable
As your words
Talk my mind off a cliff
Without it you wouldn’t be carbon-based.Without it you don’t have the energy to make enough ATP to move.Without it you sit in your room half-dead,that’s why certain words leave the air knocked out of you.
Cold, wet, and defeatedThe angel laid her hand on my shoulder"Let me show you you aren't depleted,Come with me or grow colder.This is not what you intendedI can show you the light,
Limbs are lengthy like a tree.
The smile is blossoms for all to see.
Voice of syrup sweetly flows,
Kind despite all the highs and lows.
Through each winter the life persists,
Life and its troubles are changing
with each passing day
the world’s Pain is severe and unending
and can lead the strongest-willed astray
But a bigger part of the soul,
MORNINGS ARRIVE AND THE SUN RISES
AS I WAKE WITH DREARY BONES
THE MUSCLES THROB AND THRIVE ON PAIN
AND FORM A WEAKER DRONE
THE THOUGHTS OF MELANCHOLY DAYS,THEY LINGER ON
Agony from the chronic eruption of nerves that delicately lace through my spine and entwine into vines of erotic discord electricall
A silent mantra of the hands. The strands of my hair creating a lovely rhythm of over, over, over. I crave the relaxation brought upon by the feel of conditioned hair on my soft skin.
So. I was at a party.
Y'know, it seems like it always
starts that way.
"I was at a party."
I was at a party.
Whether I had been drinking or not
In life we all make mistakes.
We all try to make it somewhere and do something.
We want to be accepted in our respected communities.
Though, it's not that simple:
We must climb the mountains,
With the world on her mind and hole in her chest, she is falling.
The weight she carries quickens her decent into the murky depths of confusion
Every thought, every action, has left her alone and lost.
If I could change one thing, it’d be this tall, intimidating fence.
I’d tear it down and frolic away deliriously into the world that’s been waiting for me.
Chills
Reaching deep within my soul they breed
Multiplying, festering
Unable to stop them, unable to take control
I retreat, trying to preserve the little sanity left
YOU CAN BECOME ANYTHING YOU WANT TO BE
BUT WHEN PEOPLE DOUBTING YOU AND STRESS TAKING A TOLL ON YOU
IT'S HARD TO BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE. WHERE IM FROM GIRLS DON'T GRADUATE
Age thirteen, beaten black and violet,
she hid from a man who was too often violent.
But Daddies aren't supposed to be mean,
or leave awful marks for all to see.
Daddy promised, "Never again."
Darkness.
I fancy myself as one who knows darkness.
Not that darkness is something wonderful to know,
In fact, it comes like a thief in the night and steals.
What is freedom? Is it the light I see in this dark place? Is it just a word, or do I give the meaning to it? Is it the feeling of floating freely in poisonous water?
Things are not what it seems
Sometimes we’re just a person’s dream
You see yourself as a misfit
But take a look at your life again
After you get done reading this shit
She has magic in her hands
The wand is her pen
She delicately draws the lines
Then she eloquently makes them refined
She doesn’t do it to waste time
She does it to clear her mind
Time enchants her victim, begs me near to sharp being…
Wraps round frail shoulders as she tickles porcelain cheek.
My fear consumes me.
I'm torn on the inside.
Should I stay for you,
Or can I run for me?
I feel your soul filled eyes,
Staring down and judging.
After my past with you,
How do I change me?
I am in pain,
From my head to my chest,
Nothing has changed,
I always tried my best,
But it did nothing,
I don’t belong here,
I am something,
But I can’t shed a tear,
I am in pain,
My knees are weak
They begin to tremble
From fear of deceit
My body longed for home,
that was calling for me.
How did I get to this point ?
I feel like I've lost all hope,
stranded I was.
It’s like he’s trapped in a cage.
He’s building up rage
Within the days
He’s been spending in this place
Where he’s stuck,
Surrounded by his own thoughts and emotions
That his demons brought
