abandoment
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When I was 5 you would always read me stories
Nothing compared to your softness and light sounds of fingers tracing cartoon trees for me
I’d await the next book eagerly
The day I left was the hardest day of my life
Looking into your eyes killed me
Blank, expressionless, emotionless
It was your decision to play the wife.
I've been so angry at you for what you did
Because you love me,
you would do anything for me
because you love me,
you put that needle in you skin everyday
because you love me,
you had to leave me
because you love me,
Heart wracking shrieks fill the once silent room;
How could you leave me alone?
Tears streak down my cheeks, dropping past my wobbling chin and to the carpet below;
How could you leave me alone?
I hide my face from you
in an attempt to forget
the way your hand
perfectly in mine.
You promised
to never let go,
but instead of using
my hand to hold yours,
You see a family, smiling and happy.
You see the dad talking, and the daughter laughing.
The mother smiles but behind her eyes,
Are the secrets that the house hides,
In reality the daughter is crying,
Where are you going. Stop. No. Please come back. I’ll.....False alarm.....Everything’s just.....Fine......As it always was......
If I have to lose something,
I'd rather not have had it in the first place
If it can get up and go
Why keep it?
Why put myself in a position to be penetracted by hurt?
If I can keep it, I want it forever
I sit alone waiting for you. I sit alone, my thoughts beginning to brew. It's been a long week, you and I have had it out. Oh, what a week filled with so much doubt. As you yell, I begin to cry. As you criticize, my heart begins to sigh.
