meth
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Hiding in mundane scenes of normality, somebody's vacant kitchen feels like it could never feel like home to anyone, it's haunted by the living
I saw the dark side of the moon
as I took another dive into my spoon
soon it would be over now
but some how
I would feel justified or it be easier
to accept the damage that been done
How an addict always hurries worries
where the next fix comes from
worries which of these tricks furry to run ya hunt ya
they all want ya- fun stuff
When I was a dope fiend I had written words,
(taken pen to paper time and time again)
that barely scratched the surface of things that got me going,
that started me.
Chicken scratched letters embedded
I told you no.
I was already in control.
Smoked a little grass here and there, and
when that pain came
I didn't think it was something I couldnt bear.
I told you no.
my guts are knotted uptwisted
i've been overthinking
my old nature of sin seeking
left my heart unwhole
and leaky
nerves got the best of me
anxiety
keeps my chest sinking
…ADDICTION…
I CANT IMAGINE A LIFESTYLE OF GETTING NO SLEEP,
THE IMAGES IN HIS HEAD AND THE DEMONS HE SEES,
THE DEVILS BLOOD IS WHAT HE SHOOTS IN HIS VEINS,
Racing hearts, thoughts to match, knew it was bullshit, the high never lasts. A breath, a touch, makes you give in so fast. Pain brings you to a wall you simply cannot pass. I love you, I hate you. I don't even know you.
Once lived a a young womenShe had stringy hair of gold that hung so delicately from her bony, pale white shouldersShe was a mystery, from top to bottom
Nothing EPIC to write about, clean and sober. Wondering just how much longer until this hell is over. No visions of riches no dreams of fame, no delusions of grandger and nothings the same. The pounds I put on are supposed to be healthy.
Frozen. Shivering. Shaking.Look at my reflection in the mirror.Scratch down my cheek to get rid of the Itch.Scratching. Twitching. Gnawing.Sweat dripping down my forehead.
This is my secret
I have not told.
This is my secret
I don't wish to hold.
This is my secret,
it will ruin my rep.
This is my secret
and my very first step.
This is my secret
Get me out of this placeMy heart breaks like glassLet it shatter and it runs a different paceIt's messing with my head, one minute i'm with you now suddenly i'm hereWhen will this end?
TEARS, rolled down our faces as we said bye to our mother
ANGER, seethed from us as someone tried to replace her
LIES, were poured into us that it could be fixed
YEARS passed and we moved on and were reunited
To feel hated and jaded
Adandoned
By my own father is...
Torture
But the feeling are
Mutual
Meth labs emotional abuse
Hatred
Those feelings never go away
Abuse
