epilepsy
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O what a charming blue day!
Twittering birds had so much to say
But much duller inside,
where boredom did hide,
Alas, I am sitting in class,
Stressed for the upcoming test.
Afraid I am unprepared to pass,
My heart pounds in my chest.
Lights flicker
People bicker
Eyes role back
Vision goes black
Then theres a shake
Like an earthquake
The body tenses
Energy only one of the expenses
Head jerks forward
Past:
A girl.
Afraid.
Terrified of her own self,
Because it had become the unknown.
Bodies, faces, eyes all around me, surrounding.
voices whisper, scream, shout, laugh, cry.
my hands shake, twitch as I walk by.
I stare in the distance, my mind becoming numb, dimming society’s sting.
Once upon a time, there was a teen by the name Jose.
He was like any other high school student.
He wanted to be successful in life but also wanted to go out and enjoy his day.
It seems my body is out of touch
The signs are showing, its independence growing
Autonomous spasms seize my control
My conscious being slammed to the floor
Knocked out by my very own host
At the beginning of last year,
I was only fifteen.
At the beginning of last year,
I was spending most of my time in the hospital.
At the beginning of last year,
I was still having seizures.
Faces of those around me,
Each has a different story,
A beginning, middle, and end,
And a perfectly integrated plot.
Yet, I am declared Faceless.
They don't see a story,
They don't see a face,
all i need
all i need is a reason.
all i need is a wish.
all i need is a goal.
all i need is ambition.
all i need is belief.
Help.
Fights, screams, yells, sirens, ambulances...
No such thing
There is no help
Crying and yelling
Sirens and running
Nobody helps you
Nothing helps you
Overbearing, rotten
Painstakingly different
Is how I always feel.
I try to fit in and I do with ease,
At first.
My Scarlet Letter is invisible to those around me,
But do not see the chains I carry.
Helpless.
An intense electrical pain filters through my scared body.
My unlucky limbs become violently uncontrollable.
Shaking.
Trembling.
Tense.
Afraid.
I scream in my head for it to stop!
Eleven years old taking on the world.
Eager to impress, she's just a girl.
One night, the same as any other.
The only one aware, her loving mother.
It takes her wholly, body and mind.
Can You hear me, God?
It's me again.
I've come to talk to you
about my dear friend.
She told me the story of
how she became
who she is today.
How her happiness
was sucked out
A slow, seeping pain enters my body,But I know too well that it was already there;Dormant, sleeping, then like a whisper,It shatters the silence, but its secret is only shared with me.
Normalcy will be my only wish
Many ask for money or love
I only ask to have control
To have a life I can be proud of
Fairy tales only consist of lies and falsities
No happy ever after for the seizure girl
Black and white.
No, it is only black.
Leave my life for a while
But wake up with some bile
Cry over the time I have lost.
Grateful for the break
Of dreams or to be awake.
Not think of the life
“Why did this happen to me?”
I ask this all the time.
“Will I have a spasm today?”
I ponder in my mind.
My friends, they all worry
My teachers worry too.
With a flash the memories are gone
A Dozen of cars crashed them all
Holding your hand and biting your lips
Is that the terror that comes within?
On your wrist it shows
