'anorexia'
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I stopped smiling because I didn’t want my face to look anything but thin.
I stopped laughing because he told me all I was, was annoying while he was in a place where he should never have been.
thin, pretty, fit in those jeans,
look like the girls in the magazines
a soft voice coarsely whispered.
she stank of insecurity and,
the mirrors voice is louder than mine
I keep turning up the volume
I think my speaker is broken
ANA
She came to me on a rainy day
Knocked on the oakwood door, a light wrapping
I remember her lips moving, but all i could see
was how pale they were
Food was always troublesome
I never had a favorite
My portions had to be smaller than theirs
This body needed to be thinner
Food became a chore
I don’t take in food
But you don’t expect it from me
Not underweight or obese
You tell me I’m not fat
Deep down, I already know that
Didn’t you know boy’s like skinny girls. those with their jutted out boney hips. That only anorexia can fix. Don’t you understand? Those hips, these thighs. This hurt, the lies. People say it’s all about your personality. But I don’t believe
Lately I've been feeling like alphabet soup,Well, alphabet spaghettios because those taste better. Out of all the types of spaghettios, The ones with meatballs, franks, less sodium,I chose alphabet noodles.
The value of my soul
determined by numbers
the circumfrence of my thighs
the space between my eyes
I once knew a girl
she was happy as could be
loved herself and knew her worth
but then she grew up
I once knew a girl
who thought she was so grown up
she began to desire control
