'sad' 'feelings' 'personal'

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Dear Home,   I laid in your living room with Taylor, Petting Penny as she fell asleep. I stood in front of your bright green door with Taylor, Waiting for Mom to take a picture before our first day of school.
why can't I make this feeling die the same way my feelings of hope and happiness had died it's the same feeling that would conjure up in my chest before I let someone beyond my concrete walls
No one will tell me How to fix these things They just try to sell me many pretty dreams   "You'll be happy when you're older." Hah, what a laugh "Just smile when it gets colder."
When I first met you, I thought you were pretty handsomeThen we started messaging all random.Never have I thought a person could mean so much to me,I probably looked thirsty for attention.
Have you ever felt as if you could not take it anymore, Like you were tired of trying to be okay As if you trying to be happy and normal was like a daily chore.  
Her.  Her thin body,  Her "high-class" skills,  Her plastic smile,  Her sketchy identity.  Me.  My average curves,  My aspired abilities,  My genuine smile,  My growing identity. 
The inner pain I feel  Comes from the past.  No matter how  Happy I feel  Or how happy  I am now,  It could never escape.  The only thing that  Will make it escape 
TBD
Heartbreak comes out of nowhere, But it always comes from somewhere. My heart hurts, it looks for you, But you're not even there... Come back to me, I can't fathom the thought of not having you,
My eyes are heavy with tears all my hopes, when did they fade away? all my fears, when did they come to stay? I'm losing control (as if I had any) my spirit was broken a long time ago
Drink, drink, yell, yell, hit hit The little girl is the target Swing and throw until she falls down Go to the lake and try to drown
Tears moved themselves Down my face  Drip, Drop  The hurricane swirled Bubbled and boiled In my heart  
how can i see thru? when can i stop thinking of you ?how long will it take to get to you ?know that you have left ,and i am silent all by myself.
You see that girl, She paints a picture with her expensive brush, She draws with her expensive pencil,
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