A feeling many girls know all too well

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I never seen a crowd so far from meIt was always my  suicidal thoughts enclosing me It was like my clothing Always on me
First of all you dont even know me. I live so many different lives That you can’t see inside Of me anymore. I am not a girl, I am a woman,
so it happens again in the dark when the hands are Touching, Grabbing, Choosing, me 
I used to break door handles, A habit my parents never cherished.  Someone would hide behind the door, And I'd come chasing after them.   The slam of the door  The click of the lock,
I banished all my roses  At dawn of Valentine  They sunk in river with a sigh  
Live the best possible life.  
Him
Him. A three letter word that titles my biggest distraction. My largest secret.  My most unfiltered thoughts.    I don't know how these feelings and excuses came to be titled Him,
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