dermatillomania
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To My Anxiety Disorder: Spotted like a leopardOn National GeographicBut no cameras document me.Hidden in the shadowsI remainBut I feel like I’m in a glass case.Words like brushstrokesPainting a smile on my faceBut we all know the best art dies in
There are bulldozers on the moon
run by burly men.
They dig through the translucent flesh
pulling up marshmallows
and leaving pools of caked blood.
From down here they form a rabbit
There's a person sitting right behind me
And I can feel their eyes piercing through the back of my head
Looking at my scalp
The part with no hair
The part that I was pulling at for two hours last night
When I’m bored I look I look for imperfectionsImperfections I can perfectPerfect what is already perfectIt doesn’t make sense to others But it does to me I look with my eyes Or feel with my fingersFor something that I perceive is there But it isn
When I’m bored I look I look for imperfectionsImperfections I can perfectPerfect what is already perfectIt doesn’t make sense to others But it does to me I look with my eyes Or feel with my fingersFor something that I perceive is there But it isn
To: anxiety.
you don't get to be capitalized.
you want to be recognized but i can't allow it.
can't.
but i do, i allow you
to
overwhelm my brain, my mouth, my hands.
i've bled from you.
it was innocuous at first.
(doesn't it always start off like that?)
my lips were just a little too chapped and
it looked bad,
so i peeled off some of the old skin.
no harm done, right?
Dermatillomania, Excoriation Disorder, Compulsive Skin Picking (CSP): a disorder wherein the individual compulsively picks at his or her skin, despite physical harm to the body and torture to the mind.
“Wow, what a psycho”
Says the girl sitting next to me.
How clever she is
Laughing at the uncontrollable misfortune of others.
