you don't get to be capitalized.
you want to be recognized but i can't allow it.
but i do, i allow you
overwhelm my brain, my mouth, my hands.
i've bled from you.
my skin flakes
my hands shake
as the noise becomes suffocating.
my muscles ache.
i clench my fists and cover my ears, can't hold back my tears.
i forget my pills, i'm stressed by thougths to kill, i can't be a child anymore.
i squeeze my body smaller and tighter
my mouth opens wider to scream.
but i can't allow it.
anxiety, you hurt me more than chemical imbalances.
it's not a thing that makes me scared
i'm always on the edge
of destruction by my own hands.