To: anxiety.

you don't get to be capitalized.

you want to be recognized but i can't allow it.

can't.

but i do, i allow you

to 

overwhelm my brain, my mouth, my hands.

i've bled from you.

my skin flakes

my hands shake

as the noise becomes suffocating.

my muscles ache.

i clench my fists and cover my ears, can't hold back my tears.

i forget my pills, i'm stressed by thougths to kill, i can't be a child anymore.

i hate 

hate

hate

you.

i squeeze my body smaller and tighter

my mouth opens wider to scream.

but i can't allow it.

can't

anxiety, you hurt me more than chemical imbalances.

it's not a thing that makes me scared

sometimes. 

i'm always on the edge

of destruction by my own hands.