People always ask me, “What do you want to do in the future?”

And I always respond, “I do not know.”

But I know what I will not be using in my future

I will not be using sig figs

I will not be using mathematical logs

I will not be using my vast knowledge about a political party named the Whigs

I will not be using my mastery of rhetorical devices to explain what the meaning of it is raining cats and dogs

I will not need to know the difference between para and por

Nor will I need to know how to identify a complex sentence

I will not need to know about the battles that led to wars

Or how to make a chemical equation balance

I most definitely will not need to know the function of the cell’s ribosomes

I will not need to know how to calculate how long it takes Jill to run a mile

I will not need to know what happens to our chromosomes

And I do not need to know the major export of the Nile

With all this knowledge locked up in my dome

I now know how to respond to questions about my future

Oh! By the way I will not need to know how to write a poem