What I Hate

Do you know what I absolutely hate?

What makes me so sick to my stomach?

And my skin crawl with repulsion?

I’ll tell you what I hate:

I hate that a split second was all it took to split my life into five parts

Part one was Denial

I denied that you were already gone, that’s why I tried to save you

Part two was Anger

How could I have lost you, my baby sister?

How could our cousin have the audacity to ask me why I cared that she was asking if you were in hell or not?

Part three was Bargaining

If only I had asked you to watch TV you would still be with me

Part four is Depression

The cloud bearing down on my emotions, fogging my life, forever sickening

Part five will be Acceptance

But I cannot see how this will be

How could you not think of the impact this action would have?

What you did was permanent

Do you have any idea what that means?

Not permanent like a marker or a tattoo

No, those can fade away and can be removed

But what you did will never fade

It can never be removed

That is what I hate