I remember harsh days

And harsh nights.

Dreams were the only place I could escape.

My mom covered up our lives with drapes,

Trying to protect me from the world,

Trying to protect me from girls,

But I couldn’t grow.

I was the flower that never unfurled.

 

The day I put 20 in my mom’s gas tank,

She couldn’t pay for gas and got cheap 87.

Which is like water vapor it never lasts,

But I felt she deserved it, since she drove me everywhere.

She felt unappreciated she said,

I don’t care about what she does she said,

I told her I did.

She felt as if people did her wrong,

Constantly saying it isn’t fair,

Nothing is fair.

But I can never forget the day she put 50 in my bank.

Almost started crying because how far I’ve came,

But sunk because the only places she’s gotten to are the bus stops.

She asked me if I thought she was crazy.

I honestly didn’t know what to think.

Still remember the days she didn’t have a job.

I looked at her in disgust thinking she’s lazy

I didn’t understand how she could lose her ambition so easily,

But that was the problem

I didn’t understand.

I still loved her though and I still love her today.

 

I remember missing out on her birthday in May.

Mother’s day the same day that year.

I sent her a card with a painting by her favorite artist.

Thomas Kincade.

I reminisced on the days I enjoyed with her.

Chillin’ at the house and playing x-box to my heart’s content.

Playing with my dog and having him lay on my lap.

Never tired so I didn’t have to take naps.

Going to my neighbor’s house whenever I needed to relax.

I love them all because they’re like my second family.

Reminisced on the not so happy days.

Having two meals a day if we had enough in the fridge.

Whenever my mom and I could barely buy a gallon of water.

House on the brink of foreclosure again.

My mom told me she was getting by on unemployment checks,

But she didn’t tell me dad was paying child support still.

I was dying for a job to help, but I wasn’t old enough.

And my mom didn’t like for me to leave the house often.

I was frustrated that mom would never tell me about anything.

She said she wanted me to enjoy life as a kid.

 

As of now and what seems like forever,

I’m not with her.

I can’t be a kid anymore I have to grow up,

Just wishing I could get mom back to those elementary school days.

Those were her glory days.

I’m 16 and its evident those days are gone.

Living my dad is alright.

I don’t have to worry about anything financially.

Safe to say I have it sort of made

Even without the pool and lemonade in the shade.

Him and my other mom have kept the bills paid,

But I’m not happy.

It’s hard to be at peace knowing mom is out in the wild.

In the wild world where nothing is given to you.

That’s why I work so hard,

But now I realize why she tried to protect me from it.

Our reality or revelation is growing up and growing apart.