I feel like 

I'm walking upstream

through a current strong enough

to pull me under again.

Every once in a while I find a rock

that is strong enough for me to lean on

and I can rest for a bit.

But the rocks get tired of holding me

and then let go and I am left drowning 

thrown 50 feet back again.

Nothing is harder

then standing in the current

when everything in you

is telling you

how much easier it would be

to let yourself get dragged under.