From having answers

to knowing none.

I thought that it was all made up

that you could control anything if you tried hard enough

I chalked it up to lack of discipline or emotions

but then it happened to me

With each passing day my world was falling apart and all my answers and solutions were no good.

I couldn't escape from myself

from my mind

It was like drowning with no hope of ever being saved.

No way to cope

no relief from the pain

no escape from the mosters inside my head

Even when I slept it plagued my dreams

I had lost all control waking and sleeping

This strong woman

became a scared little girl with the rug ripped from right under her feet

People don't understand

How can I blame them?

I once was one of those people too.

They say "control it" or "I'm scared for you"

They have no clue how scared you are too.