Stupid me...Stupid Me?

Stupid me? Shame on me?
I thought you were telling me the truth when you said that you love me.

No stupid you!
You're the one who walked out on the best thing that has happened to you. All the nights I pushed through you crying to me about how your mother didn't love you. All the times where you woke up screaming because your dad beat you. You cried to me and told me how much you couldn't live without me. And now you're running town bragging about how you can do without me.

Stupid you!
I stood next to you and looked like a fool. Stupid whole family saw what I couldn't see. My friends didn't abandon me, you pushed them away so that you can have control over who I talk to and what I say. Stupid you! You suffocated me into your lifestyle of endless nights crying and terrified of you when I've been nothing but good to you. Stupid you! I'm tired of your manipulation and dedication to making me think I need medications and to be placed in a rehabilitation facility, silly me, why didn't I see this coming. Silly me but not stupid me? STUPID YOU!

I'm through with all the bruises and body shakes that you press on me. Stupid me... for letting you even touch me. You don't even deserve me. Not an inch of my body or an ounce of who I am, and definitely not a pound of persevering love that I gave you. Not for all my love handles you ridiculed me for. My saggy breasts, thunder thighs, or my fat stomach all from which came from your first child. Can' t you see the beautiful glow, the glow that made you promise before, that you would love me and our child and not mistreat me, or walk out of the door? Doesn't my face, retrace the memory of another lie you told to me?

No?! Stupid you!
I wish you could know what it feels like to have the short end of the stick of your nicotine addiction. The gluttony and the misery of your alcoholic possessed soul and having it poured on the seventeen millimeter burns. Blood bath after blood bath and pains in your side. Thirty fingers and toes GONE! All of my beautiful little ones... Secluded to your own dread by force, influenced into thinking that you were forgotten in such a big-small world when really it is you that had to forget.

Stupid you for leaving me in the end! Making me bathe in my own blood again! By a burning and stinging hot metal to my womb, another hole I don't need.

Stupid you! Stupid you! Stupid you! I was smart! I became wise, NOT YOU!

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