A struggle with Ed (my eating disorder) and what it feels like to be trapped in your own mind.
Location
There's a home in my head
Less of a house, more of a shack
It has me pounding on the walls
Knuckles and plaster start to crack
And as I'm bleeding from my hands
At the hand of your words
I know I bite it, but this fighting's
Got me splitting, its absurd
But I'm sure that I will only be
Realized when the garden hose becomes a noose to me.
So I lock myself in my own room
And I curl up on my bed like I'm still in the womb
There's old pills by my bed; I could dig my own tomb
I'd be closer to hell; I'd be closer to you
And the paint peels away to show claw marks on the wall
And my bones start to break as my life starts to fall
I sink into my sheets; They're enveloping me
Like they know that the unconcious is my only release.
Well my house starts to burn
From the anger that I've steamed
Flames lick the walls and create ashes
Then they start to burn me
My skin starts to blister, but I still don't disappear
So I scream and I cry, but nobody can hear
No family, no friends, no neighbors except Ed
And he wouldn't ever save me; He already wants me dead.