For strength to stay alive.
Institutionalized hatred
Familial separation
Finger to the trigger as I'm pacing
Contemplation of my place in the world
When faggots are doomed to damnation
No amelioration of pain suffered
I thought my life was over
When I lost my mother
Because her baby just couldn’t be
One of them.
Him.
His scent envelops me
Arms wrapped tightly around my waist
I belong.
No, I can't be gay
It's wrong
My family will disown me
I'll get thrown out of my home -
he, my father
won't even look at me
Because raising a faggot
Is the utmost atrocity.
Hypothesizing the lesser evil:
To live alone or live a lie
And praying, though my soul goddamned
For strength to stay alive.