Spirals of Conviction and Guilt


United States
26° 37' 51.5136" N, 82° 0' 28.8504" W

Dishonesty creeping

Through trembling fingers 

Acts normal on the outside

While hate grows within.


All the while guilt and 

Apprehension stir in the object

Shame complex spirals within me

And it feels like no amount of prayer

Erases my sin.


Pressure to be perfect

Caving me in emotionally

While physically my successes return;


The former gives up

And just walks away from me

Says, "Well you should have seen my concern."


"It's your fault I lied,

You should take a step back,

You've got all these flaws don't you see?"


"You're condescending, you're vain,

And I just can't 

Hold the truth, I've gotta be free."


Like a fool, I believe it;

Just one more flaw to my many,

Am I right?


Maybe I can fix it;

Just check my tone and then

Everything'll be allright.


I forget that one little fact-

I'm not perfect, I can't be.

There will always be those

Who dislike me.


And I can't do it alone.

I'm useless, lost in my sin

I'm worthless;

Colored red with hell-bound blood

He washed me.


In the Psalms they say

"It was not my own sword that saved me"

And in this, my flaws also hold true.

I can't fix myself,

Can't patch up a broken pot with no glue.

I need Him to do it for me.


At the same time,

It's not my fault I'm intelligent

And ignorance without care

Can be jealous of me.

I'm still delicate

And their biting words

Do hurt me.


You lied.

That's your fault.


Lover of deceit,

Self-fulfilling prophecy.

All I asked for

Was a little bit of honesty.


Your dishonesty crept in

Through those trembling fingers.


And I won't be made guilty

For your hate that still lingers.


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